The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann is a business parable that contradicts the notion that to be successful, you need to be a go-getter, a competitive hard-charger focused on getting new clients and making ever-bigger deals. Instead, the authors contend you should make giving rather than getting your first priority in business and in life—and success will follow. Becoming a “go-giver” means giving value to others, not as a strategy or quid pro quo, but as a way of leading a satisfying life.
In the parable—in which a mentor guides a frustrated go-getter named Joe to success and fulfillment—the authors explain why and how to become a go-giver by practicing the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success.
Joe, a go-getter at Clason-Hill Trust Corporation, was having a bad third quarter. He lost a contract that was up for renewal and failed to land a new account he had hoped for. As a last-ditch effort to gain an edge, he scheduled a meeting with a wealthy business consultant, who he hoped would help him connect with and influence clients.
At their first meeting, the consultant, identified only as Pindar or The Chairman, shared his counterintuitive “trade secret” for success: giving.
He said most people get things backward. They strive to get something, usually money, before giving anything. This is as foolish as wanting to get heat from a fireplace before adding logs, or wanting interest from a bank before making a deposit. Instead, successful people focus on giving—and that creates success. The more you give, the more you have.
Pindar agreed to teach Joe how to practice it via the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success—on the condition that Joe apply each law the day he learns it. Each day for a week, Pindar arranged for Joe to meet a successful person who embodied one of the laws of success. Day by day, Joe found the lessons changing his life in ways he never imagined.
1) The Law of Value: How much more you give others in value than you receive in payment defines your worth.
For Joe’s first lesson, they met with Ernesto Iafrate, owner of Iafrate’s Italian-American Cafe, one of a chain of restaurants Ernesto owned. Ernesto started his restaurant career with just a hot dog stand. Following the Law of Value—giving more in value than he received in payment—was the key to his success.
Ernesto gave exceptional value to his customers beyond the food they bought from him. He made buying a hot dog a memorable dining experience by building relationships with his customers—he remembered not only customers’ names and preferences, but their children’s names and birthdays as well as many details of their lives. Children brought their parents and parents brought their friends and associates to his stand. Several customers became Ernesto’s partners and he opened a chain of restaurants and began buying commercial real estate. His philosophy for running a great restaurant was providing better food and service than customers could pay for.
Joe questioned whether giving more in value than you get in return amounted to giving away money. Ernesto replied that asking whether something makes money is the wrong first question. He said the first question should be whether your enterprise serves and adds value to others. If the answer is yes, then ask whether it makes money. You should give, not as a strategy, but as a way of life. When you do, profits or other benefits follow because people want to do business with you.
2) The Law of Compensation: Your income depends on how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
Joe’s next meeting was with Nicole Martin, CEO of a global educational software company. She explained that as a grade school teacher, she had invented some games to promote children’s curiosity and creativity. They worked so well that she wanted to enlarge her impact by sharing them with more children. With some investors, she started a company that ultimately brought her games to twenty-five million children.
Nicole told Joe that while the Law of Value determines your potential income, the Law of Compensation determines how much you actually earn. It states that your income depends on how many people you serve and how well you serve them—your impact. This means you determine your level of compensation—to increase your success, just serve more people. There’s no limit to what you can earn or achieve: Everyone can succeed because anyone can give.
3) The Law of Influence: Your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put others’ interests first.
Joe and Pindar next visited Sam Rosen, a financier and owner of the Liberty Life Insurance and Financial Services Company, the most successful financial services company in the world.
Sam told Joe that besides giving, a key to success is expanding your influence by building a network of people who know, like, and trust you—an “army of personal ambassadors,” who might not necessarily buy from you but who always have you in mind. With such an army, you’ll have a stream of referrals.
The way to create a network of personal ambassadors is to stop “keeping score”—that is, doing favors with the expectation that others will return the favors and keeping track of who “owes” you. The third law of success means rejecting quid pro quo and win-win scenarios where you each get something and instead putting the other person’s win first—focusing totally on her interests.
This approach generates success because if you put others’ interests first, your interests will always be taken care of because you build a reservoir of goodwill that ultimately benefits you.
4) The Law of Authenticity: The most important thing you can offer is yourself.
Joe’s next visit was to an annual sales conference to hear a speech by Debra Davenport, the city’s top Realtor. But as she explained in her speech, her career was a failure until she applied the Law of Authenticity.
Debra was a hard worker but couldn’t manage to sell any houses. She heard a speech by Pindar on the importance of giving added value, but couldn’t think of any value she could offer. Discouraged, she planned to quit after one final home-showing appointment. Since it was her last sales effort, she abandoned all her techniques and just chatted with the female client about her interests and experiences. And the woman bought the house.
Debra realized she had added value by being a friend, by caring, and by making the client feel good about herself. She’d been authentic. Her career soon took off from there. Debra’s message to her conference audience was, the most important thing you can offer is yourself.
5) The Law of Receptivity: For effective giving, be open to receiving.
In Joe’s last lesson, Pindar explained the relationship between giving and receiving. Everyone learns the adage, “It’s better to give than to receive,” which is interpreted to mean that if you’re a good person, you give without thinking of receiving anything. However, Pindar asserted that the adage is wrong: it’s not better to give than to receive. It’s actually crazy to try to give and not receive because receiving naturally follows giving. They go together like inhaling and exhaling—you can’t do only one of them and one isn’t better than the other.
You have to choose to receive—or giving won’t create the success or results you want. You have to close the loop. Joe immediately grasped the concept. He observed that if you don’t receive, you’re refusing the gifts of others and you “shut down the flow.” Babies and children are receptive—in fact, they’re hungry to receive. But people tend to lose that quality later in life.
Joe concluded: the secret to success is giving and the secret to giving is being open to receiving. That, Pindar said, was the Law of Receptivity.
Joe’s life changed when he began applying the laws of giving:
Joe, the one-time go-getter, had become a go-giver.
The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann is a business parable that contradicts the notion that to be successful in business you need to be a go-getter, a competitive hard-charger focused on getting new clients and making ever-bigger deals. Instead, the authors contend you should make giving rather than getting your first priority in business and in life—and success will follow. Becoming a “go-giver” means giving value to others, not as a strategy or quid pro quo, but as a way of leading a satisfying life.
In the parable—in which a mentor puts a frustrated go-getter on the true path to success and fulfillment—the authors explain why and how to become a go-giver by practicing the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success.
(Shortform note: To help readers navigate the story without losing sight of the principles, we’ve summarized the storyline, main characters, and five laws at the beginning for easy reference. A chapter-by-chapter summary and exercises then follow.)
Joe, a go-getter at Clason-Hill Trust Corporation, was having a bad third quarter. He lost a contract that was up for renewal and failed to land a new account he had hoped for. As a last-ditch effort to gain an edge, he scheduled a meeting with a wealthy business consultant, who he hoped would help him connect with and influence clients.
The consultant, identified only as Pindar or The Chairman, shared his counterintuitive “trade secret” for success: the more you give, the more you have. He agreed to teach Joe how to practice it via Five Laws of Stratospheric Success on the condition that Joe apply each law the day he learned it. Each day for a week, Pindar arranged for Joe to meet a successful person who embodied one of the laws of success. Day by day, Joe found the lessons changing his life in ways he never imagined.
Joe: a go-getter at Clason-Hill Trust Corporation who was struggling to meet his quarterly goals.
Gus: Joe’s senior colleague at Clason-Hill, who served as a sounding board. He also turned out to be the mysterious character in the story known as “the Connector,” who brought the other characters together in profitable deals.
Carl Kellerman: a corporate broker who was looking for the right firm to handle a big account. Joe desperately wanted the account but didn't get it.
Neil Hansen: a competitor of Joe’s who got the Kellerman client account.
Jim Galloway: a lawyer representing a multinational company whose contract with Joe’s company was up for renewal. Because Jim’s client decided to switch to a firm with stronger overseas connections, Joe lost the account.
Pindar: a wealthy, connected business consultant known as The Chairman (his full name isn’t given), who taught Joe his formula for success.
Rachel: Pindar’s personal chef, who served the numerous business associates who came to his home. With Pindar’s help, she laid the groundwork to start her own business, Rachel’s Famous Coffee.
Ernesto Iafrate: the owner of commercial real estate and a hugely successful chain of Italian restaurants, who started as the owner of a hot dog stand. He embodied the Law of Value.
Nicole Martin: a former elementary school teacher, now CEO of Learning Systems for Children Inc., a global maker of educational software. She embodied the Law of Compensation.
Sam Rosen: a financier and owner of Liberty Life Insurance and Financial Services, who helped the other characters finance their businesses. He embodied the Law of Influence.
Debra Davenport: the city’s most successful seller of residential and commercial real estate. She embodied the Law of Authenticity.
Joe’s first meeting with Pindar occurred on a Saturday at Pindar’s impressive stone mansion overlooking the city. They conferred over a cup of “Rachel’s famous coffee,” served by Pindar’s personal chef Rachel. Joe complimented the excellent coffee and Pindar noted that he’d been encouraging her to open a chain of coffee shops because her coffee was too good not to share. Joe responded that Rachel could “make a killing” by selling her coffee.
However, Pindar replied that he had a different definition of success. He’d been talking about Rachel “sharing” her coffee, which was different from making a lot of money from it. While there’s nothing wrong with making money, it’s not what makes you successful. Instead, he said, his “trade secret” for success was giving.
Joe, like most people, was getting things backward—people wrongly strive to get something before giving something. This is as foolish as wanting to get heat from a fireplace before adding logs, or wanting interest from a bank before making a deposit. Pindar argued that instead, successful people focus on giving—and that creates success.
When Joe commented that focusing on giving would encourage people to take advantage of you, Pindar observed that you get what you expect or focus on. Most people see the world as a competitive, dog-eat-dog place, where people may treat you politely, but everyone is out for themselves. When they expect conflict or expect people to take advantage of them, that’s what happens. However, if they focus on the best in people, others’ negative behavior has less impact on them. In other words, people have a big say in what happens to them.
Joe was skeptical but also intrigued, and Pindar promised to share his Five Laws of Stratospheric Success, starting the next day with the Law of Value. They would meet with a major real estate entrepreneur, who would explain it.
The Law of Value: How much more you give others in value than you receive in payment defines your worth.
Joe and Pindar had their second meeting at Iafrate’s Italian-American Cafe, a popular restaurant, judging from the crowd size. Ernesto, the head chef/owner, joined them at their table. He explained that he started his career with just a hot dog cart. His stand became popular, eventually being voted the best outdoor dining experience in the city. He started a restaurant with the help of a mysterious investor, known only as “the Connector,” then came to own a half-dozen restaurants. Later, he invested in commercial real estate; his holdings totaled several hundred million dollars worth.
The key to Ernesto’s success was the exceptional value he gave his customers beyond the food they bought from him, starting with his hot dog stand. He made buying a hot dog a memorable dining experience by building relationships with his customers—he remembered not only customers’ names and preferences, but also their children’s names and birthdays as well as many details of their lives. Children brought their parents and parents brought their friends and associates to his stand. Several customers then became Ernesto’s partners in further business ventures.
Ernesto explained his philosophy of the restaurant business this way:
This approach exemplifies the Law of Value: How much more you give others in value than you receive in payment defines your worth. Joe countered that emphasizing giving over profit could lead to bankruptcy; it’s as though you’re avoiding making money. However, Ernesto replied that the first priority should be whether your enterprise serves and adds value to others. If it does, then ask whether it makes money.
You should give, not as a strategy, but as a way of life. When you do, profits or other benefits follow because people want to do business with you.
The meeting broke up; the next day’s visit would be with “the CEO,” who would explain the Law of Compensation.
Before the next lesson, however, Joe was tasked with applying what he’d learned that day about giving more than he would get in payment.
Back at the office, his first priority was coming up with a way to meet his third-quarter quota; his phone rang and his problems got worse. It was Jim Galloway, a lawyer representing a multinational company whose contract with Joe’s company was up for renewal. Jim had bad news—his client wanted to switch to a firm with stronger international connections and Joe was losing the account.
Suddenly remembering the Law of Value, Joe passed on the name of a competitor, Ed Barnes, who had the qualifications Jim’s client was looking for. After hanging up, he couldn’t believe he had just referred a client to a competitor. However, his colleague Gus, who’d overheard the call, nodded approvingly.
The authors of The Go-Giver contend that you should make giving rather than getting your first priority in business and in life—and success will follow. The first principle in adopting a giving approach is to give more in value than you get in payment.
Can you think of an experience—for instance, a business or personal transaction—in which you received more than you paid for or gave in return? What was the experience and how did it make you feel?
How did it impact your next interaction with the business or person?
What’s a way that you can add value for someone this week? How can you increase that value beyond any payment or return you might get?
The Law of Compensation: Your income depends on how many people you serve and how well you serve them.
At their next meeting, Pindar introduced Joe to Nicole Martin, CEO of Learning Systems for Children Inc., a maker of educational software sold around the world.
She explained that she was a former grade school teacher who came up with some games for her classes to promote children’s curiosity and creativity. They worked so well that she wanted to share them with more children, so she consulted a software developer about digitizing them. Along with some investors recommended by “the Connector,” Nicole and her developer started an educational software company that ultimately brought her games to twenty-five million children.
Regarding the first two “laws,” she told Joe: The Law of Value determines your potential income. However, the Law of Compensation determines how much you actually earn. It states that your income depends on how many people you serve and how well you serve them. So your income reflects not only your value/worth, but also your impact.
There are two implications of the law, Nicole said:
1) You get to determine your level of compensation—to increase your income and impact, simply serve more people.
2) There’s no limit on what you can earn because you can always find more customers.
This is a variation of the Martin Luther King Jr. quote that “Everybody can be great because anybody can serve”—Everyone can succeed because anyone can give.
However, before she could succeed, Nicole also had to get over her fear of success. She had always believed there were two types of people: those who got rich by taking advantage of others and those—like teachers and nurses—who did good but never made any money. She believed you couldn’t do both—to succeed, you couldn’t be a good person.
When she realized how much this belief was limiting her ability to share her educational software, she changed it and no longer hesitated to promote her product. As Nicole explained to Joe, whether you’re broke or rich is your decision. Therefore you can change it.
As a result of Nicole’s decision to be successful at giving opportunities to more children through her software, her company was now worth $200 million.
In addition to Nicole’s lesson on expanding the number of people you serve, Joe got another lesson from Pindar’s personal chef Rachel—about keeping your focus on serving, even when it’s difficult.
Rachel told him she’d started working at age fifteen to support her family by cleaning houses, doing yardwork, waiting tables, cooking, and answering phones. She later managed to put herself through college doing similar work. Although the jobs were not always enjoyable, she treated each one as though she loved it.
She knew that whether she liked a job or not, each one gave her the opportunity to do three things: survive, save, and serve. These are the universal reasons for working. Work helps you survive by providing money for basic needs and allows you to save for a better life and serve or make a contribution. The most successful people focus on serving.
Pindar first met Rachel at a bookstore where she was the cafe manager. After a cup of her coffee, he realized she had a talent for selecting and preparing coffee in a way that brought out the best flavor and aroma. He offered her a job as his personal chef, which she accepted. She went on to serve coffee to Pindar’s business associates and eventually to many more people when she started her own business.
When Joe dropped off Pindar at his house after the visit, Rachel gave him a pound of her famous coffee. As he headed back to work, he wondered how he could increase the number of people he served.
When he got to the office, almost without thinking, Joe made a pot of coffee and personally served it to every coworker on his floor. All were surprised and pleased that he was taking time to serve them coffee as they struggled with their third-quarter deadlines.
In talking with Gus afterward, Joe realized he’d applied the Law of Compensation. Gus asked him how he’d felt while serving the coffee. Joe said he felt like an idiot, to which Gus replied that sometimes you feel or look foolish when doing the right thing.
Joe looked forward to the next meeting, with Nicole’s financial advisor, Sam Rosen, who would explain the Law of Influence.
In the book, the Law of Compensation states that your income depends on how many you serve and how well you serve them—in other words, on your impact. You can increase your income and success by finding ways to serve more people.
Think of an aspect of your work or personal life in which you serve others—for instance, helping customers or working with the PTA at your children’s school. How would you describe the impact you’re making?
What’s a way to leverage your efforts or enlarge the number of people you serve? If you can’t think of a way, is there something else you could do with greater potential impact? (Remember that how well you serve is also part of the impact formula.)
What’s the upside of serving for you? Why do you do it? How would enlarging the number of people you serve increase the “returns” you get?
The Law of Influence: Your influence (social capital) is determined by the extent to which you put other people’s interests first.
Joe and Pindar next visited Sam Rosen, a financier and owner of the Liberty Life Insurance and Financial Services Company, the most successful financial services company in the world. Sam explained that he’d started his career as a struggling insurance agent. But his fortunes changed for the better when he began focusing on giving rather than getting—he became his company’s top salesman. In his later years, he began working with nonprofits and became a philanthropist.
Sam told Joe that besides giving, a key to success is expanding your influence by building a network of people who know, like, and trust you—an “army of personal ambassadors,” who might not necessarily buy from you but who always have you in mind. With such an army, you’ll have a stream of referrals.
The way to create a network of personal ambassadors is to stop “keeping score.” In the business and political worlds, you typically keep track of favors—you do favors expecting that others will return the favors and you keep track of who “owes” you. In fact, transactions that people refer to as win-win are really a way of keeping track—of making sure everyone comes out even and no one gets the edge.
But when you base your relationships on who owes what to whom, you’re being a creditor, not a friend. The third law of success is that your influence is determined by the extent to which you put other people’s interests first. This means rejecting win-win and putting the other person’s win first—watching out for her interests. Striving for a fifty-fifty outcome is “a losing proposition,” Sam said. “The only winning proposition is 100%.”
Pindar added that the Law of Influence generates success because if you put the other person’s interests first, your interests will always be taken care of. It’s actually a form of enlightened self-interest: You meet others’ needs with the faith that in doing so, you’ll get what you need. Pindar explained it this way: Most people think money, success, and status give you influence. However, influence comes first—influence creates success. And putting others’ interests first creates influence. Therefore, putting others’ interests first creates success.
After they left Sam, Joe commented to Pindar that the three people he’d met—Ernesto, Nicole, and Sam—all had a common quality: personal magnetism. Pindar explained it was giving that made them attractive: givers attract. And Joe thought, the Law of Influence (putting other people’s interests first) works because it magnetizes you.
When Joe arrived at home, he found that his wife Susan had had a difficult day. Both had high-stress jobs and needed to vent, but they didn’t let it get out of hand because they usually brought home additional work to be done before bedtime. They had a rule that neither would complain for longer than a half-hour.
Susan began to vent about her day and a half-hour quickly passed. Realizing she’d gone over the time limit, she stopped and apologized, saying, “A deal’s a deal.” It reminded Joe of what he’d heard earlier in the day: Fifty-fifty is a losing proposition.
Without thinking further, he said his work could wait and he wanted to hear about her day. Susan went on for a long time and he wasn’t sure it had helped. But when he woke up the next morning after she’d left for work, he found a heartfelt note from her thanking him for his selflessness in listening.
Joe realized that the Law of Influence and the other giving-related laws applied not only to work but also to life.
In the business and political worlds, people often do favors with the expectation that others will return the favors. They keep track of who “owes” them. But the Law of Influence calls for totally putting others’ interests first while trusting that your interests will be taken care of in the process.
Think of a relationship you have where you don't keep score but give freely without expecting reciprocation. How does that relationship compare to a relationship where you keep score?
What would it be like to have that kind of selfless relationship with everyone in your life—family, friends, coworkers, strangers?
What would it take to make that happen?
The Law of Authenticity: The most important thing you can offer is yourself.
Joe’s next visit was to an annual sales conference to hear a speech by Debra Davenport, the city’s top Realtor in both the residential and commercial markets. However, as she explained in her speech, her career was a failure until she applied the Law of Authenticity.
Twelve years earlier, when her husband walked out on her, Debra earned a real estate license to support herself and her children. She was a good student and learned all the sales techniques but still couldn’t manage to sell any houses. She went to a sales conference (the same annual event she now addressed) where a business consultant (Pindar) spoke about adding value to what you sell. He told the audience: Regardless of what you’re selling, you can succeed by adding value.
Debra couldn’t think of any value she could add that would help her sell houses. She felt like a failure and planned to quit the next day after one final home-showing appointment. Since it was her last sales effort, she abandoned all her techniques and just chatted with the female client about her interests and experiences. And the woman bought the house.
Debra realized that the value she added was herself. She succeeded in selling the house by being a friend, by caring, and by making the client feel good about herself. She’d been authentic. Her client’s husband (who turned out to be “the Connector”) hooked her up with Ernesto and his investors, who were going into commercial real estate. Her career took off from there.
Debra’s message to her conference audience was that the most important thing you can offer is yourself. This is because reaching a goal requires a small amount of knowledge or skill and a large amount of “people” skills. Your people skills have to be based on who you are. If you try to be someone else or put on an act, you won’t reach anyone because people will see you as insincere and won’t trust you.
When you sell a product or service, you’re selling yourself. You need to be authentic.
Having now learned four laws of success, Joe had one more meeting the next day. Rather than revealing who they’d be meeting with, Pindar told Joe only that the meeting would feature the “Friday guest.”
After Debra Davenport’s speech, Joe’s next task was to apply the Law of Authenticity—that is, to find a way to offer his most important asset: himself. He did it unconsciously by having an honest conversation with his colleague Gus.
As Joe and Gus were wrapping up work for the day, Joe confessed that he’d misjudged Gus in thinking that Gus wasn’t doing anything of value. Joe mentioned the office rumors that Gus was either a washout or was so wealthy that he didn’t have to work very hard.
But Gus always seemed to be around with a word of encouragement when Joe was struggling to apply one of the success laws—and it had finally occurred to Joe that Gus was familiar with all of Pindar’s laws and lessons.
Gus admitted to being “the Connector.” He’d met Pindar 35 years ago and introduced him to Sam Rosen. He bought both men hot dogs at Ernesto’s stand and they subsequently went into business with Ernesto. Gus also introduced Ernesto to Debra Davenport (who’d sold the house to Gus’s wife) and Debra helped Ernesto buy commercial real estate. When some of Gus’s friends, including Nicole Martin, wanted to start a software company, Gus introduced them to Sam Rosen for financial help.
Gus then suggested that Joe had just applied the Law of Authenticity by admitting he didn’t have all the answers and admitting to having been wrong about Gus.
The Law of Authenticity states that the most important thing you can offer is yourself. Applied to a business environment, it means that when you sell a product or service, you’re selling yourself. If you put on an act instead of being authentic, you’ll fail.
Think of an instance where you played a role or acted in a certain way because it was expected. What kind of response did you get? How did it make you feel?
How would the situation have been different had you acted authentically? What value could you have added by being yourself?
How much of your time do you spend playing a role that isn’t the real you? How can you reduce that time and be more authentic overall?
The Law of Receptivity: For effective giving, be open to receiving.
Joe arrived at Pindar’s mansion for the next meeting, which was to include a “Friday guest” who would explain the final law. Joe and Pindar had lunch but no other guest showed up. In the meantime, they discussed the concept of giving as it relates to receiving.
Pindar noted that everyone learns the adage, “It’s better to give than to receive,” which is interpreted to mean that if you’re a good person, you give without thinking of receiving anything.
Joe acknowledged that he often thought about receiving and felt guilty about it.
However, Pindar asserted that the adage is wrong: it’s not better to give than to receive. It’s actually crazy to try to give and not receive because receiving naturally follows giving.
They go together like inhaling and exhaling—you can’t do only one of them and one isn’t better than the other. To extend the analogy, humans and animals breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, while plants do the opposite—they absorb carbon dioxide and produce oxygen. They give and we receive, and vice versa.
You have to choose to receive—or giving won’t create the success or results you want. You have to close the loop. Joe immediately grasped the concept. He observed that if you don’t receive, you’re refusing the gifts of others and you “shut down the flow.”
Babies and children are receptive—in fact, they’re hungry to receive. But people tend to lose that quality later in life. They also lose qualities such as curiosity and belief in yourself—because curiosity and belief in yourself require being open and receptive.
Joe concluded that the secret to success is giving and the secret to giving is being open to receiving.
Joe then asked about the “Friday guest,” who was to explain the last law. Pindar replied that Joe himself was the “Friday guest,” and by articulating that success requires both giving and receiving, he’d just explained the Law of Receptivity himself.
Back at the office, the third-quarter prospects were looking grim. The corporate broker, Carl Kellerman, called to confirm that the big contract Joe was trying to get had gone to his competitor Neil Hansen.
Joe thought for a moment about the Law of Receptivity, but he didn’t seem to be receiving anything. Gus told him to be patient and noted that he was a different person than he’d been a week ago.
After everyone else had gone home, as Joe began cleaning up the kitchen area, a feeling of calm—receptivity—came over him. At 6:15 p.m., the phone rang. It was Neil Hansen, who had gotten Joe’s number (a referral) from Ed Barnes. Barnes was the competitor whose name Joe had given to another client, Jim Galloway.
Although Hansen had won the big account Joe had been pursuing, he needed help with another account and Barnes had suggested Joe might be able to provide it. Hansen’s client was buying several hotel chains, rebranding them, and introducing the new enterprise with a luxury cruise. However, the client had lost a critical concession for premium coffee. They needed to have a new supplier onboard in three weeks. Joe said he just might know someone who could fill the bill. The “receptivity” ball had begun rolling.
In the year she worked for Pindar, Rachel had learned about many aspects of business—finance, negotiation, networking, and so on—in the study of her passion: making excellent coffee.
She learned restaurant supply from Ernesto and researched supply chains and the best equipment for making coffee. Starting small, she began connecting with and then gradually building a network of coffee farmers all over the world, which would allow her to bypass brokers and middlemen and get the best prices and quality. She learned about importing, management, and human resources from Pindar’s business associates.
When Joe got Hansen’s call about needing a supplier of premium coffees for the hotel chain/cruise line, he knew that with the right backers, Rachel would quickly be ready for business. And thus, Rachel’s Famous Coffee was born, a seeming overnight success that brought wealth and fame to its three partners, Rachel, Joe, and Neil Hansen. Joe, the one-time go-getter, had become a go-giver.
The Law of Receptivity states that for your giving to be effective or create the success you want, you also have to open to receiving. Giving and receiving go together like inhaling and exhaling—one isn’t effective without the other.
Think of a situation in your work or personal life that involved both giving and receiving. How did they complement each other?
Think of a time when you had difficulty receiving something. Why was it difficult? What did you do?
The next time someone gives you something—for instance, a ride, change for a vending machine, or help with a problem—instead of thinking immediately of what you owe in return, how can you react differently, in a spirit of receptivity?
Is being a go-getter a bad thing?
There’s nothing wrong with being a go-getter—they get things done. However, being a go-getter won’t get you what you want if you don’t focus first on giving value to others. Giving makes you a more effective go-getter.
The opposite of a go-getter isn’t a go-giver but a go-taker—someone looking only for how the world can serve them.
Is the moral that nice people finish first?
The go-giver success formula isn’t about being nice. Being nice, or genuinely considerate, is great but it isn’t what makes you successful. Many nice people are struggling financially. Success is the result, not of niceness, but of creating value, touching many lives, putting others’ interests first, being authentic, and being open to receiving (the Five Stratospheric Laws of Success).
Does giving to charity make you a go-giver?
People often think of giving as making a financial contribution to charity, but the go-giver concept is broader. As Arianna Huffington described it in the book’s foreword: giving encompasses giving thought, attention, care, focus, time, and energy—value—to others.
Isn’t it easier to give after you’ve become wealthy/successful?
It’s the reverse. Being a giver creates wealth and success. You don’t need money to start adding value to other people’s lives.
Does being a go-giver mean not caring about making a profit?
On the contrary, go-givers make a profit because they provide value to their customers. When you focus on providing a great customer experience, profits usually follow. But when you focus on profits first, you miss chances to create value and your profits reflect that.
How do you become a go-giver in a small business without “giving away the store”?
You can provide value with whatever you sell. Both a fine-dining establishment and a hot dog stand can provide value for customers. Value differs from price. Ernesto gave customers, not just hot dogs for a price, but also the value of a dining experience.
Does being a go-giver mean you should give away your products/services for free?
No—there’s nothing wrong with making a profit. A business has to be sustainable. Ernesto charged for his hot dogs. Again, go-giving is a matter of priority–putting giving before making money.
Does the Law of Compensation imply that being a good person doesn’t matter?
Being a good person is important, but it’s not what determines your income. Your impact determines your income.
Does putting another’s interests first mean sacrificing your own?
Placing others’ interests above your own doesn’t mean negating your interests. It means trusting that when you focus on others’ needs, your needs will also be taken care of. As you develop a reputation for putting others’ needs first, you’ll find that’s what happens.
When you follow the “laws” of giving, doesn’t it take longer to get results?
A giving approach often brings results in less time. Readers of this book report that shifting their focus to others gets dramatic, often immediate results.
Isn’t it naive to think you can give without thinking about results?
You can’t suppress self-interest—it’s part of being human, but you can set it aside or suspend your self-interest while you focus fully on the other person.
Is the book saying that all you need to do is give and you’ll receive?
Success still requires dedicated effort and a good business plan. Being a go-giver doesn’t mean doing random good deeds. Helping an elderly person across the street is kind, but it’s not a business strategy. Success takes work. All the characters in the book worked hard.
What makes the law of receptivity challenging?
Many readers find it challenging or uncomfortable to stay open to receiving because we view giving and receiving as being in conflict. But one can’t operate without the other.
Doesn’t the Bible say it’s better to give than to receive?
What the Bible actually says is that it’s more blessed to give than to receive. The Greek word for blessed means fortunate, rewarded, prosperous, and happy. In other words, if you focus on giving, you end up with greater rewards than if you’d focused on receiving. The root of the Greek word for blessed means to grow larger—when you give, you become a bigger person in terms of success, influence, and fulfillment.
How have people applied the laws?
You can start by applying them in your everyday life. Try making a habit of performing a go-giver act each morning. For instance: