Selling is an intrinsically human skill that has evolved with us over time. To Sell Is Human explores how deeply embedded this skill is in our lives and shows you how to harness it as a tool for achieving results in sales, as well as other areas of life. Our guide supports, contrasts, and simplifies bestselling author Daniel Pink’s ideas so you can put them into action in your own life.
Despite sales traditionally being a specialized skill set, Pink argues that the modern workplace managed to transform us all into “sellers.” Workers now generally find themselves needing to use sales skills to “move” their target demographic, whether or not they are selling a material product. Thus, Pink introduces a new term: non-sales selling (or contemporary selling). Contemporary selling is about moving others to exchange resources that can include but do not revolve around money. Haggling over a product price, asking someone on a date, and interviewing for a job all use contemporary selling.
When Did We All Become Salespeople?
The idea that selling is inherent in the human experience isn’t new. As far back as the 1800s, Scottish novelist Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, “Everyone lives by selling something.” That said, the idea has taken hold more noticeably in the modern workplace for the practical and emotional reasons Pink has outlined. Whether you’re persuading people to accept your ideas, your products, or you yourself, your ability to sell is both natural and necessary to get what you want out of your experience of life.
In Pink’s view, sales has historically been seen as deceitful and manipulative, but the power balance has changed, and there are two primary sales philosophies now: The traditional philosophy of “buyer beware,” or caveat emptor, and the new philosophy of “seller beware,” or caveat venditor. Caveat emptor doesn’t require integrity, as its sole purpose is to benefit the seller. Caveat venditor is about the seller being of service to the buyer. Whereas before, integrity was the last value a salesperson operated from, being a successful salesperson now requires it.
The economy during the heyday of traditional sales (the better half of the 1900s) was stable and predictable, and it prioritized consumerism. Pink explains that the traditional salesperson focused on a singular objective: making a profit. This is represented by the popular sales acronym “ABC”: Always Be Closing.
This philosophy meant that the traditional salesperson didn’t have to care about the needs of the buyer, as long as they made their sale. It encouraged sellers to use any means necessary to exploit buyers, which consequently created a negative view of salespeople.
For example, suppose you were a traditional car salesperson. To make the best possible profit, you’d misrepresent the quality of your vehicles and charge more than they were worth. You were willing to take advantage of the buyer in order to make the sale.
(Shortform note: Where did the ABC mantra come from? In 1992, Alec Baldwin played a salesman in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross (originally an award-winning play by David Mamet) and popularized the phrase “A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing!” Baldwin’s character was the epitome of the “pushy salesman,” single-mindedly focused on making the sale, whether or not it benefited the buyer.)
Two factors initiated the decline of traditional sales.
The economy, previously predictable, became unstable in the Great Recession, which soon transformed the workforce. It forced workers to broaden their skill sets to help companies cut costs. Skill sets like sales, which had previously been specializations, became basic necessities for everyone in order to increase efficiency in organizations. The economic instability also inspired a wave of entrepreneurs. Self-starters often need to wear many hats, which contributed to the need for flexible skill sets including sales.
(Shortform note: As sales skills have become more critical for workers, so have interpersonal or “soft” skills, which are closely related: To sell, you need to be able to relate to people. So it's not surprising that both skill types are in increasing demand in response to the changing economy. Specifically, soft skills include social skills, emotional intelligence, time management, and handling conflict effectively.)
Pink explains that sales previously depended on a power imbalance between buyer and seller. Pre-technology, the sellers had all the important information, and the buyers had none. This gave the power to the sellers and allowed them to prioritize their own success over the needs of the buyer to turn a profit. With the internet giving everyone access to the same information, sellers were forced to shift their focus from profit to serving the buyer’s needs.
(Shortform note: It might be tempting to argue that entrepreneurs are more visionaries than salespeople, but as Pink notes, entrepreneurs tend to wear all the hats, requiring a more diverse skill set to ensure business success. The majority of these skills involve sales because you need to be able to sell your brand and the uniqueness and usefulness of your product.)
The economic and technological changes gave rise to a new philosophy of selling that replaces the old ABCs, according to Pink. In contrast to the seller making a profit, the new method is aimed at meeting the buyer’s needs with three approaches: connection, optimism, and focus.
Pink defines connection as getting in sync with and adapting to people, communities, and contexts in order to serve their needs.
(Shortform note: While empathy and connection are frequently used interchangeably, connection goes beyond empathy. In the context of sales, empathy is about having the ability to understand what a buyer needs or a problem they need solved, building trust, and creating connection; in the context of sales, connection allows you to look at the world through the eyes of the buyer, and try on their perspective to understand their needs.)
Pink suggests three techniques for practicing connection.
He says mimicking builds trust between seller and buyer, because people trust others who share their mannerisms or subtly mirror them in other ways. For example, if you’re a seller and notice that a buyer is physically expressive when they talk, you can use more physical gestures. This should help to create camaraderie.
(Shortform note: While mimicry can create rapport, it can undermine it when done in inappropriate contexts or inappropriate ways. It can actually upset people, preventing positive rapport both consciously and subconsciously.)
Pink’s second way of connecting is to develop a deeper understanding of the buyer and the context of their needs by putting yourself in their shoes. You can use your imagination to consider the buyer’s bigger picture and see needs to serve that you would have missed with a focus on your own perspective or experience.
For example, say you’re selling a car to a buyer. They’re a new driver, and they’re looking at trucks, initially. You notice they’re a fairly small person, and considering that factor along with the new driver status, you suggest a line of smaller sports cars. You think the cars will be easier to handle for a new driver, especially one who is on the smaller side. The customer buys a cool, safe sports car. They say it’s a perfect fit, and they’re glad they didn’t go with one of the trucks.
(Shortform note: To consider someone else’s perspective, 1) identify your own perspective (what is the conflict about, how do I feel about it, and how will I respond?); 2) explore the other person’s perspective (how does she see the conflict, how might she feel about it, and what are her motivations?); and 3) reflect on your original perspective, noting whether it’s changed.)
Pink’s third technique for connection is to treat the buyer like they’re the ones with the power. This creates a dynamic of service, where you can focus on meeting their needs instead of your own interests.
For example, when you are selling to someone, consider sitting at an equal level with them and asking, “What are you looking for, and how can I help?” This physically puts you on an even playing field, and the question sets you up for a dynamic of service.
(Shortform note: Keep in mind that while power makes you more productive, it also makes you less empathetic: You don’t care as much about getting along with others and you’re more focused on your own needs than the needs of others. This underscores Pink’s advice to mentally shift power to the buyer to create a service dynamic in sales.)
The second component of Pink’s modern sales method is optimism. Optimism is crucial because it helps you develop resilience. Selling involves hearing the word no more often than yes, so you need to believe in what you’re selling enough to see a transaction through, even when a buyer initially resists buying (or to move on to the next customer if they refuse to buy).
For example, say you’re a door-to-door salesman, and you manage to get into conversation with a potential buyer. The prospect hasn’t closed the door in your face yet but seems to be rejecting everything you have to say. With an optimistic attitude, you can stay positive about the outcome and show the buyer how much you believe in your product or service. Even if the buyer ultimately doesn’t purchase, you develop the resilience to approach the next potential buyer.
The Power of Optimism
Beyond simply boosting your morale, optimism significantly increases your ability to sell. In one study, MetLife, which hired thousands of salespeople per year, gave their new hires both an “optimism test” and a sales aptitude test. In the first year, new hires who passed both tests achieved an 8% higher success rate than those who only passed the aptitude test. By the second year, this percentage increased to 31%. Even more importantly, those who scored high on the optimism test but low on the aptitude test achieved a 21% higher success rate in their first year than those who passed just the aptitude test, and by their second year, this rate jumped to 57%.
Pink recommends building optimism into three stages of the sales process: your preparation, your handling of the sales conversation, and your evaluation afterward.
To prepare for a sales interaction, Pink advises asking yourself targeted, positive questions that help you focus on your sales goals. This boosts your confidence and motivation, and done consistently, it leads to better long-term results.
For example, before a potential sale, ask yourself, “How can I best be of service to this buyer?” Or, “How can I show the buyer this purchase is worth it?”
(Shortform note: Sales experts note that when you use interrogative self-talk to prepare for a sales interaction, it’s important to focus your questions within categories that sharpen your understanding of your buyer’s specific needs. The goal is to know exactly who you are, who your buyer is, and what value you bring to the transaction. This builds both confidence and optimism.)
After building optimism into your preparations, the next step is to maintain it during the sales process. It’s important to create a positive environment during a sale, both internally (for the seller), and externally (for the buyer).
Research indicates that there is a “golden ratio” of positive to negative experience. When you experience three positive sensations to one negative sensation, your well-being improves. When you experience 11 positive sensations to one negative sensation, your well-being decreases. A healthy ratio of positive to negative sensations makes the buyer more receptive, and more likely to take positive action (like make a purchase). Additionally, as a seller, when you feel positively about your product, as well as the sales process, you can more easily connect with the buyer. This increases buyer trust.
Put this information into practice by creating a friendly atmosphere, communicating positive information with a minimum 3 to 1 (and maximum 11 to 1) ratio to negative information, and speaking with conviction about what you are selling. For example, if you’re selling a car, share a number of positive aspects of the car, and then throw in a negative. Smile often, and speak highly of the across-the-board quality of the cars you sell.
(Shortform note: While there is little doubt that positive experiences improve well-being, there is doubt about the legitimacy of the golden ratio rule. According to some researchers, there is no scientific evidence that the mathematical formula the golden ratio theory is based on can be applied to feelings and well-being.)
After you complete a sales interaction, reflect on what went well. Studies show that the way we describe an experience after the fact influences how we feel about it. To reflect positively, Pink recommends starting with these three assumptions when describing a sales experience.
Victim Mentality Versus Growth Mindset
In a sales context, a victim mentality based on negative thought patterns is detrimental and ultimately leads to chronic learned helplessness. When you see yourself as a victim, you prevent sales success because you begin to feel powerless and expect failure. A growth mindset leads to flexible optimism, supporting sales success by creating a sense of empowerment, confidence, and optimism.
A growth mindset looks like:
An emphasis on effort
A foundation of self-discipline
A resilient attitude
A sense of ownership
A willingness to take creative initiative
The third component of Pink’s modern sales model is creating focus, or helping customers get clarity on their needs. This entails finding problems, drawing the customer’s attention to them, and offering solutions.
For example, say you’re a tutor and a life coach. Your tutoring client is a 12-year-old boy who can’t get his grades up. You notice that he’s very smart, and you realize his grades are only low because he doesn’t have self-discipline skills (you’ve found the problem). You offer to provide him with life coaching instead of tutoring (an effective solution). His grades quickly improve.
Focus in the Midst of Noise
Your biggest challenge as a seller is to cut through the “noise” and get to the heart of your buyers’ needs. Noise can be anything that distracts from what you’re offering (examples include services that are more exciting or create a stronger sense of urgency, or any other ways buyers can spend their resources elsewhere). Create an environment for your buyer that helps them to focus on you and what you’re offering. One way to do this is by directly acknowledging and demystifying the noise upfront. For example, if you’re selling a cell phone service, you might identify each of your competitors by name and briefly note the ways they don’t serve your buyer’s needs.
Pink identifies several ways of creating focus for a customer.
While the traditional sales approach is about making the sale (problem solving), Pink’s method is about helping buyers clarify their needs (problem finding). You can enhance your problem-finding skills by being thorough, asking good questions, considering multiple perspectives, and staying adaptable.
For example, when you work with a new buyer, get to know them by asking questions. You can use the information you discover to help your buyer focus on their needs and decide on a solution.
(Shortform note: According to Einstein, identifying a problem is more important than solving a problem, because solving a problem requires little imagination—just the ability to engage in trial and error and to use logic. Identifying a problem requires creativity and asking innovative questions, and it unlocks new possibilities that didn’t seem to exist prior to the identification process.)
Research shows we understand things more clearly when we see them in contrast with other things. You can help buyers develop focus by showing them multiple potential paths they can compare, or by using an unfavorable option to highlight the benefits of a more favorable one.
For example, if you’re selling a car, have multiple cars ready to show to the buyer, including one of lower quality than the others, which you can use to highlight the benefits of the other cars.
The Contrast Principle: Influencing Focus
In The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini explores how comparison shapes the way we perceive things and how that can be harnessed for sales success. According to Cialdini, when we experience two things at the same time or one after another, we automatically compare the value of the second to the value of the first. Our opinion about the second item is heavily influenced by the way we perceive the first item. For example, if you’re buying curtains, and the salesperson first shows you a set that you find ugly, followed by a set that you’d consider average on their own, the second set will seem better looking in comparison to the first set. You’re more likely to buy the average set than you would have been had they been the only option you were given.
Another way to help customers focus is to sell experiences rather than products. Experiences facilitate connection and opportunities for joy or growth. Framing a sale through the lens of experience focuses a buyer on how they will benefit and is more likely to get them emotionally invested in making a purchase.
For example, rather than selling a “cellphone,” sell a “tool for staying connected to the people you care about.” This keeps the buyer focused on the purpose of the phone and how it will bring them a positive experience.
(Shortform note: Experiences often resonate more than products because experiences are easier to relate to: You’ll connect more meaningfully to your buyer if you emphasize your experience with it (for example, “I have a passion for photography, so having the largest storage option on my phone allows me to hold onto all those memories”). Additionally, modern buyers care more about what they do than about what they own (for instance, 72% of millennials prefer experiences to products).)
People are more inclined to act when they have a path to follow. Pink recommends providing buyers with a clear path to solving their problem (ideally one that requires the least amount of effort possible).
For example, a therapist doing a consultation with a potential client can assess their therapy goals, then provide them with a structured timeline for meeting those goals. To keep it simple, she can offer them a package of sessions instead of having them pay as they go. Giving them clear steps and a clear time frame makes them more likely to commit to working with her.
The Power of the Call to Action
A call to action makes it easy for the buyer to take an immediate, specific action. When you don’t include a call to action, or steps the buyer can take, in your sales pitch, you are more likely to lose a sale or a customer. There are two lines of thinking that lead to this pitfall:
Assuming that the buyer has enough clarity and motivation to take action on their own.
Fear that a call to action is too aggressive and will push the buyer away.
Even if a buyer knows what they want, always give them clear information and directions. This will ensure a smooth closure of the sale. Rather than overwhelming buyers, having a clear, simple path to take relieves them of the pressure to act from uncertainty.
Pink argues that the contemporary sales method is ultimately about providing a service to others. This means you should sell with the intent to improve someone else’s life.
He identifies two underlying steps to service-oriented sales.
Often, salespeople try to be impersonal and “professional.” However, this creates distance rather than connection between you and your customer. Instead, Pink recommends making the transaction personal by showing your passion for the product—you’re sold on it and want others to benefit from it too. You come across as focused on service rather than profit, making your pitch more credible. Making sales personal in this way improves both your success and your service.
For example, if you’re selling cell phones, but you’re not really passionate about it, you’ll see potential buyers as a means to an end (profit). In contrast, if you really love selling phones, you’ll see potential buyers as people you can help. This will automatically improve your service.
Why Serving the Customer Matters More Than Ever
The COVID-19 pandemic forced many people into social isolation, fear, and distrust. Under those circumstances, being of service through home delivery and digital contact became more than just a sales strategy, it became a customer lifeline. Here are five reasons service matters:
It supports human connection.
It provides high value.
It reduces stress for clients.
It creates meaningful customer experiences.
Pink advocates taking the new sales model a step further by connecting what you’re selling to a broader purpose. Studies show the desire to serve is innate. You are most successful when you believe you are serving not just yourself or the buyer, but a larger purpose. He recommends thinking about how your service can improve society as a whole and framing it that way to potential buyers.
For example, if you’re a teacher, remind yourself that you’re not only getting a paycheck, or improving the lives of the people you’re educating, but you’re also preparing those people to take what they learn and improve the world.
The Service-Based Sales Model
The service-based model is an increasingly popular approach to sales easily applied to any niche. According to life coach Linda Luke, the key aspects of service-based selling are as follows:
Start: Begin with attentive listening and asking well-thought-out questions.
Evaluate: Assess your client based on their needs.
Recommend: Recommend solutions that meet their needs.
Value: Know the value of your service and be able to articulate that value to buyers.
Interest: Assess how interested they are in what you have to offer.
Commitment: Negotiate a transaction that meets both your needs.
Extend: Go above and beyond to be of service and maintain communication beyond the initial transaction.
Focus on these components to provide the most mutually beneficial transaction for all involved.
Pink explains that when you upsell, or convince a customer to buy an add-on or higher-cost product, you’re generally serving your own best interest. Your mindset is, “What can others do for me?” In contrast, when you “upserve” (to use Pink’s term), you’re helping buyers to meet needs they didn’t know they had. This is a mindset of, “What can I do for others?”
For example, say you’re selling a phone. Your buyer is elderly and needs something simple. If you’re focused on getting more money from her, you might try to sell her a high-tech, expensive phone with lots of features, because it will get you a commission. But with a service mindset, you’ll help her find the most reliable, easy-to-use product for her needs, even if it means you make less money.
Why Is Service-Oriented Selling So Effective?
Service-oriented selling works because it builds trust. Sales trust is a dynamic in which the buyer believes in you as an authority and believes you care about serving their best interests. This trust matters for three reasons:
Trust supports a long-term seller-buyer relationship.
Trust affords you the benefit of the doubt when you make mistakes.
Trust keeps your buyers coming back and helps you get new ones.
Are you a salesperson? You might be surprised to learn that the answer is “Yes.” Hate it or love it, in the modern world, we’re all selling something, and the value of sales skills has never been higher. To Sell Is Human explains the evolution and significance of sales. It challenges commonly held assumptions by redefining the meaning of sales and re-evaluating the role of the salesperson. Whether you’re in sales or not, it shows you how to effectively harness sales skills to influence others to action and create purpose or growth in your life (whether it be for personal or professional gain).
Daniel Pink is a best-selling author of seven books exploring topics such as science, sales, economics, management, and human behavior. After going to law school at Yale, Pink built a multifaceted career, including a run as the host and co-producer of the National Geographic show Crowd Control, a guest editor at Wired, and chief speechwriter for former Vice President Al Gore.
Having conducted one of the most-watched TED Talks of all time, in which he breaks down the complexities of motivation, Pink is recognized as a thought leader on connections between science, business, and human behavior.
Connect with Daniel Pink:
To Sell Is Human is Pink’s fifth book, published by Riverhead Books (an imprint of Penguin Random House Books US) in 2012, two years after the publication of Drive: The Surprising Truth About Motivating Others. Both spent significant time on numerous bestseller lists, with To Sell Is Human topping lists in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal.
To Sell Is Human was published during an economically unstable time where a new type of selling was becoming a critical skill for everyone in the workforce. The Great Recession between 2007 and 2011 changed the workplace, creating the need for employees to develop diverse skills to ensure job security, influencing an explosion of entrepreneurship, and requiring us all to develop sales skills in order to influence others. The book arrived in 2012 in the midst of widespread economic uncertainty, with the U.S. debt fast approaching what by the end of the year would become a $1.077 trillion deficit. The presidential election of 2012 further contributed to the uncertainty, as the candidates’ perspectives on economic stimulation differed in extreme ways. Additionally, unemployment decreased over the course of the year, but not significantly enough to indicate genuine recovery.
According to Pink, two fundamental ideas underlie to Sell Is Human:
1) Everyone is engaged in selling of some kind (whether it’s traditional selling or contemporary selling). Pink describes selling broadly as the ability to move others to action. He considers selling to be an intrinsic human practice that is becoming increasingly valuable in the modern workplace due to an ever-changing economy, the rise of entrepreneurship, and the expansion of the education and medical industries. The lack of predictability in the economy requires the modern-day employee to wear many hats (in order to maximize company efficiency), rather than specializing, meaning everyone needs sales skills to remain competitive. Similarly, anyone engaging in entrepreneurship also needs to wear many hats, and all jobs within the ever-expanding education and medical sectors require influencing people to act.
2) The power in sales has shifted from the seller to the buyer, requiring the philosophy of sellers to evolve from profit to service. Sellers have less power because technology (namely, the internet) has given buyers access to product information that was previously available only to sellers. As a result, sellers need to focus on serving the interests of buyers, which means operating with greater integrity and attention to clients’ needs.
Pink’s ideas both overlap with and differ from other popular sales methodologies. For example:
Many readers praised the book for offering a fresh perspective on sales and a thought-provoking exploration of the value of empathy, service, and flexibility in the workforce. Also, reviewers cited the clear, well-researched presentation of its key ideas.
Critics, however, contended that it’s unremarkable because it offers information found in many other sales books, and in some cases, makes overly broad claims, such as the assertion that all interactions that involve an exchange of some kind fall under the category of sales. Alternatively, sales could be just one type of resource exchange, with service being another, and persuasion being a common feature of all types of exchange.
Ultimately, selling of any kind is about persuasion. “Moving others” means persuading them to act. The best way to persuade is by serving others’ needs. Rather than making a moral argument about serving the buyer for the sake of character, Pink is saying that when we focus on the needs of others, we know how to best inspire them to act (whether by purchasing a product from us, or by doing us a personal favor).
Pink argues that the most effective way to create the result you want is to make the “transaction” as meaningful and beneficial to the buyer as possible. Persuasion is the goal, being of service is the strategy for achieving the goal, and empathy is the most effective tool for that strategy.
Pink uses a straightforward organization, presenting well-researched ideas with narrative, humor, and experiential exercises. In part one, he argues that selling is both innately human and an intrinsic part of our day-to-day lives, encompassing not just the exchange of products or services for money, but any “transaction” that involves an exchange of resources. He explains why the definition of sales has changed and how the power balance has shifted. In part two, he explores the evolution of a seller’s role, contrasting the old school profit-driven sales approach (ABC or “Always Be Closing”) with a new approach: connection, optimism, and focus. Finally, in part three, he explains how to implement his model using a new type of sales pitch, improvisation, and a service mentality.
Throughout the book, Pink is adamant about defining "selling" in a somewhat unique way, framing it primarily as a skill of persuasion used in service of the buyer’s needs. In this guide, we compare Pink’s method to other sales methodologies and ideas. Additionally, we contribute alternative viewpoints, provide updated research, and offer greater historical and intellectual context for Pink’s findings.
In this guide, we’ll first explore the evolution of sales techniques and the value of selling. Next, we’ll discuss Pink’s comparison of the “ABCs” of traditional sales to his formula for modern sales and his suggestions for how to use it to be a successful salesperson. Finally, we’ll compare Pink’s suggested sales strategies with other approaches. You’ll learn how sales plays a role in your life whether you sell traditionally or not, and how adopting a service mindset can help you achieve personal and professional goals.
Pink argues that while we still think of sales in a traditional way, it’s changed. Traditional sales values profits over people, and it serves the seller first. But the sales industry has since evolved in significant ways, which we’ll discuss later in the chapter. As a result, Pink defines sales more broadly as “moving” others to exchange one resource for another, whether it’s time, attention, money, or something else of value. Selling can mean providing a tangible product or service in exchange for money (this is the type of traditional selling we’re familiar with), but much of what we “sell” or “buy” is intangible. In this guide, we’ll call the first type traditional selling and the second type contemporary selling.
Compared to traditional selling (the type of sales job that one in nine Americans work in), contemporary selling is about persuading, influencing, or convincing others to give up an intangible resource. We sell ourselves on social media in exchange for likes, comments, and other attention. We sell our causes on GoFundMe pages. We sell our partners on cooking dinner or being the one to take the spiders outside. According to a study conducted by Pink, people spend 40% of their time at work in contemporary selling, and the skill is critical for professional success.
Can Everything Truly Fall Into the Category of Sales?
While Pink views any job that moves others to part with a resource (whether it’s material, like money, or nonmaterial, like time and energy) as a sales job, many would consider his definition of sales to be a bit broad. After all, if sales is indeed primarily about moving others to give up any kind of resource, just about everything falls into that category, and in that case, what is the value of using the term “sales” to define it at all? For example, if we are engaging with romantic partners, and we inspire (move) them to share physical intimacy (a resource)—would we call that sales?
Many would argue that there are limits to the use of the term “sales.” In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “sale” is defined in numerous ways, but each involves monetary gain. If monetary gain is not the focus of the transaction, is it truly sales? Or is a more appropriate term “service?” Service is defined by Merriam-Webster in ways that include “contribution to the welfare of others,” and “useful labor that does not produce a tangible commodity.”
Why do semantics matter in this case?
The way we define words influences how we frame our experiences. When we define sales so broadly, we frame everything through a consumer lens. As a result, we may view our experiences as transactional, motivated only by “selling” our ideas, our causes, and even ourselves. In a consumer culture, this increases our vulnerability to manipulation.
The words we use both have and create connotations. Equating sales with service confuses the connotations of both words on their own. While sales techniques may be used in the context of service, that does not make sales service, especially given the way service is defined above (if you do something that contributes to the welfare of others, but you receive monetary or some other form of tangible gain, it ceases to be service by definition).
Pink contends that in the modern era, sales has been redefined in two ways: profit through the sale of material goods is no longer the core focus. Instead, the focus is on influencing buyers to act (and ultimately, buy). Additionally, the traditional sales philosophy has transformed to reflect the new power balance between buyer and seller in which both have access to product information. The old paradigm gave sellers a monopoly on information and therefore power, with profit being the priority. Now, that power is equal, and service to the buyer is the seller’s new priority. According to Pink, these shifts have three origins:
Pink notes that in the past, a stable economy meant that business environments were predictable. Employers didn’t need workers to have adaptable skill sets. Employees knew what was expected of them week to week, and it wasn’t necessary to deviate. These factors allowed sales to become a concentrated skill set, and salespeople could become life-long sales specialists.
Since the heyday of traditional sales (encompassing much of the 1900s and shifting with the turn of the century), the economy has grown and is more diverse. The modern economy values movement, adaptability, and a broader range of skills. Everyone is now “selling” in some capacity. Having more people with sales skills has meant more profit for businesses. A flexible skillset cuts costs, because you have fewer employees applying a wider range of skills and essentially completing the same volume of tasks as were being completed within the traditional model. With a growing economy, a flexible skill set including sales is a major asset.
Sales Skills and Soft Skills Are Birds of a Feather
As sales skills have become more critical for workers, so have interpersonal or “soft” skills, which are closely related: To sell, you need to be able to relate to people. So it's not surprising that both skill types are in increasing demand in the changing economy. Specifically, soft skills include social skills, emotional intelligence, time management, and handling conflict effectively. They're valuable because:
They allow you to connect effectively with others, and give you the ability to navigate obstacles such as conflict with others or personal limitations.
They keep you adaptable because they’re transferable to another job.
While it’s easy to see the value of soft skills, actually developing them is more complex. Given their personalized and often intuitive nature, it can be difficult to make them teachable or measurable. So how do you acquire them?
Try identifying soft skills you may already have and focus on strengthening them. For example, if you’ve ever played a team sport or worked in food service, retail, or hospitality, you’re likely skilled in adaptability, teamwork, and problem solving.
Also consider areas of work where you’ve experienced struggle, and determine which soft skills to fill in the gaps with. For example, if you struggle when customers or clients get upset, you may need to focus on improving or acquiring conflict resolution skills.
It once seemed as though technology would eliminate the need for salespeople by automating the sales process online. But instead, Pink contends, the internet gave the masses access to information, which transformed the landscape of sales. First, the internet derailed traditional sales by shifting the information power balance (discussed further in Chapter 4) from seller to buyer. Second, it gave people who didn’t have the resources to run their own businesses access to free information, alternative business platforms, and new ways to build their own customer base. Anyone could become a self-starter, so entrepreneurs and startups became a bigger part of the economy.
Unlike larger companies, smaller businesses often don’t need, or can’t afford, specialized departments like sales. Entrepreneurs must wear many hats, nearly all of which involve moving others (for example, growing a social media following, motivating employees to work efficiently, securing outside funding for the business, and so on). In this way, the self-starter era has expanded contemporary selling.
Why Entrepreneurs Need Sales Skills
While it might be tempting to argue that entrepreneurs are visionaries more than salespeople, the vast majority of entrepreneurial tasks involve sales for the following reasons:
The best ideas are improvements: Rather than being innovative, many of the most successful products are improvements on the original idea. For example, today’s big search engines like Google and Yahoo are based on the WebCrawler, which debuted in 1994. Entrepreneurs succeed by seeing the value of an idea and selling an improvement to a broader market.
Brand is more important than raw value: Many brands deliver nearly the same customer experience (for example, you likely won’t be able to tell the difference between Cheerios and an off-brand counterpart). This means the ability to differentiate and sell your brand or experience is critical to your success.
Cash flow is critical to sustainability: As exciting as it is to generate ideas, you can’t execute them without consistent cash flow. And developing a consistent revenue stream requires you to be a salesperson first.
Products must continually meet customer needs: You need sales skills to understand your customers’ evolving needs and adapt your product to meet them.
Pink believes that one of the most notable changes in the economy has been the creation of millions of new jobs in health care and education (which range from nurse practitioners to college test prep providers). He contends that the growth of these sectors is also driving demand for sales skills (in this case, the ability to persuade someone to part with their resources because it will benefit them). Teachers convince students that giving time, energy, and attention to class will benefit them. Doctors convince patients that doing unpleasant or uncomfortable things (like consenting to surgery) will support their long-term health.
Why Are Health and Education Growing So Much?
Many factors are contributing to the growth of the health care and education sectors.
Health care:
America’s population is aging. By 2030, 72 million Americans will be 65 or older, increasing the need for health care services.
The increased demand is creating a variety of job opportunities. Additionally, many jobs in health care don’t require extensive education or credentials.
Pay is stable and often meets or exceeds the national wage average, which attracts potential employees.
Education:
Educational levels continue to increase globally. The UN had the goal of reaching universal primary education completion by 2015, and by that year, primary education enrollment in developing countries had increased by 83% from the year 2000 (91% enrollment overall).
People are recognizing the relationship between education and financial success. As a result of an early 2000s study, the Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development theorizes that if all children in developing countries were to meet national school system targets, overall income of these countries could increase 16% over 80 years.
The evolution of technology requires continually updating skills. Education was originally designed to serve the needs of the Industrial Revolution for workers who could perform repetitive mechanical tasks and follow directions. But now, education has to be updated to meet the needs of changing technology and the need for critical thinking skills.
It’s worth noting that the power imbalance in education and health care created by “buyers” lacking the information “sellers” have access to suggests that these sectors are actually more aligned with traditional sales than the modern sales environment Pink describes. For example, students (buyers) aren’t able to learn on their own the way they can learn with the support of an educator (seller), and patients (buyers) receive more accurate information from medical providers (sellers) than from a Google search. Further, these sectors are arguably more profit-focused than service-focused, considering the high costs of both education and medical treatment.
Consider the description and examples of contemporary selling (persuasion) in Chapter 1. Are you a salesperson?
Think about your job. What kinds of tasks do you complete? What general skills do you use?
Which of the tasks require moving others to act? Which of the skills helps you to do so?
What percentage of your time at work do you spend engaging in contemporary selling? How do you think this contributes to your success at work?
Pink explains that sales was traditionally built on a transactional, self-serving value system. Salespeople were a necessary information authority, and people were dependent on them for acquiring services or goods. Sales also played a crucial role in an economy dependent on production and consumption. When the 2008 global recession killed many jobs and access to information via the internet expanded, it seemed as if there might no longer be a need for salespeople. Despite that, sales jobs have remained steady or grown.
What has changed, according to Pink, is the focus of sales. Specifically, there has been a shift from profit-focused sales, known as caveat emptor (buyer beware), to service-focused sales, known as caveat venditor (seller beware). Following is a comparison of the two models..
Under the traditional buyer beware model, a seller with all the information has the upper hand and can take advantage of an uninformed buyer who lets down her guard. So the buyer beware model generally profits the seller, sometimes at the buyer’s expense.
For example, let’s say you’re a used car salesman. Only you know the quality of the vehicle for sale, so while you’re fully informed, your buyer is less informed by default. Not being equally informed creates problems in the seller/buyer dynamic, whether there is ill will or not. At best, the imbalance can cause your buyer to feel suspicious of your motives and consequently less willing to move forward with a transaction. At worst, you can intentionally take advantage of the information gap by failing to tell the buyer about flaws in the product or service, hidden costs, or anything else that might create a negative experience for the buyer.
Pink notes that, thanks to the buyer beware model, the stereotype of a pushy, manipulative car salesman is exactly the image many people have of sales representatives. (Shortform note: This image has contributed to a decline in the number of people interested in sales careers. However, the image is changing and other experts foresee a brighter future for sales.)
The Importance of Trust
Not only does the system of buyer beware allow sellers to be unethical, but it is also both inefficient and ineffective because a foundational component of any secure relationship (sales or otherwise) is trust. In a personal context, you’re more likely to build intimacy with someone you believe you can trust, and in a sales context, you are more likely to engage in a transaction with a person you trust. In a recent study, 71% of participants said they would prioritize buying from a seller they trusted, even if other sellers offered them the cheapest deal in comparison.
Pink contends that the less effective buyer beware model is giving way to seller beware. With buyers having access to information, there is an increased pressure for sellers to have integrity. Additionally, social media acts as a “checks and balances” system. Consequences for unethical sales tactics are swift and far-reaching (you can go viral and lose your job in the same day).
(Shortform note: not only are these old pressure tactics unethical or unappealing to buyers, but some of them can get you into legal trouble—for example, thanks to the CAN-SPAM Act, emailing people repeatedly without their consent is against the law.)
Sellers in the new economy benefit most from seeing themselves as servicepeople, identifying problems and providing solutions for buyers to choose from.
Qualities of a “Service Mentality” in Sales
What does it truly mean to act in service of the buyer? Customer service expert Nancy Friedman suggests that beyond simply serving a customer’s best interests, seven qualities characterize a Service Mentality:
Empathy: Defined as the ability to connect with the experience of others, empathy shows the customer that you genuinely care about meeting their needs.
Enthusiasm: When you bring positive energy to a transaction and demonstrate a genuine interest in serving the needs of your buyer, you automatically become more effective because you are perceived as both capable of and interested in meeting needs.
Ownership: Having an obvious willingness to step up and take ownership of creating the best possible solution lets buyers know that they can count on you throughout the transaction.
Responsibility: Responsibility is about reliability and keeping your word. Being dependable shows buyers that you have integrity and can be trusted.
Adaptability: Being flexible allows you to meet the needs of buyers with all types of personalities and address a variety of circumstances.
Balance: Having awareness of and respect for your own resources, needs, and limits, as well as those of your buyers, allows you to create a mutually beneficial transaction for all involved.
Resilience: Being resilient allows you to remain grounded and focus on the buyer’s needs in tense or unexpected situations.
Are You an Ethical Persuader?
To ensure you’re approaching sales with a service mindset, apply the TARES test. Ethicists Sherry Baker and David L. Martinson created the five-point test to assess whether an effort to persuade is ethical. To be ethical, persuasion requires:
Truthfulness
Authenticity (of the persuader)
Respect
Equity (both parties benefit)
Social Responsibility (there’s a common good)
Both the end and means are important. Applied to sales, ethical persuasion serves a moral end (meeting the buyer’s needs) through ethical means (the TARES standards). For example, a doctor’s end goal should be matching a patient or “buyer” with the best possible treatment, and the means of achieving that goal is offering them an honest description of their options coupled with an educated opinion on the choice that would best serve them.
In contrast, unethical persuasion is pursuing a sale for personal gain at others’ expense. The end goal is to benefit the seller, and the means of achieving this goal is deceit (for example, a car salesman knowingly sells a faulty vehicle to a buyer by lying about its quality).
Consider how the concepts of buyer beware and seller beware relate to sales and selling in your life.
Think about the last experience you had with someone trying to sell you something. What strategies did they use to “move” you to buy?
Did these strategies demonstrate buyer beware, seller beware, or both? Write some examples here.
Were the strategies effective? Why or why not?
Now, imagine the positions are reversed, and you are the seller. What strategies would you use to sell the same item or service? How do they demonstrate buyer beware or seller beware?
The next three chapters focus on what Pink describes as an evolution from traditional selling to a methodology focused on meeting the buyer’s needs. He illustrates both methodologies with the acronym ABC. The first has been the mantra of profit-focused salespeople in the past, while the second is Pink’s reimagining of the model.
Traditional ABCs
Pink’s Updated ABCs
(Shortform note: In our guide, we’ll use more descriptive terms for the new sales model components. For attunement, we’ll use connection; for buoyancy, we’ll use optimism; and for clarity, we’ll use focus.)
Where the “Always Be Closing” Mantra Came From
In 1992, Alec Baldwin played a salesman in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross (originally an award-winning play written by David Mamet), and popularized the phrase: “A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing!” Baldwin’s character was the epitome of the “pushy salesman,” single-mindedly focused on making the sale, whether or not it benefited the buyer.
Chapter 4 explores the first component of Pink’s new sales model: connection. Connection allows you to tune in to the context or perspective of others and adapt your own perspective or behavior accordingly. Like tuning in to a frequency, you adjust depending on the circumstances and the needs of the buyer or target. There is a difference between creating authentic connection and lying, however. Your motivation for connecting must be genuine (otherwise it can become mechanical or transactional); beyond that, your only other intention should be to use that connection to serve the needs of the buyer.
How Connection and Empathy Differ
While empathy and connection are frequently used interchangeably, connection goes beyond empathy.
What is empathy?
Merriam-Webster defines empathy as understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.
In the context of therapy, empathy is “the ability to understand the feelings, attitudes, roles and perceptions and world of another.”
In the context of sales, empathy is the ability to understand what a buyer needs or what problem they need to solve, as well as building trust and creating connection.
What is connection?
Merriam-Webster defines connect as "to become joined" or "to have or establish a rapport."
In a sales context, according to Pink, connection (which he calls attunement) allows you to look at the world through the eyes of the buyer, and try on their perspective in order to understand their needs.
While empathy, in general, appears to be about understanding the emotional experience of another person to create a foundation for connection, connection itself allows you to actually engage with the worldview of another person, which gives you a greater ability to respond to their needs.
Pink describes four qualities that allow you to sync up with others and adapt to their needs. When used correctly, each quality moves you closer to your sales goal.
When you’re humble enough to allow the other person to be the focus and to have the power in a transaction, you’re more likely to move them.
Humility Is the New Road to Success
When sellers had more information than buyers, the role of a salesperson was to flaunt their knowledge and play the expert. Now, with buyers having access to their own information, it’s no longer valuable for a seller to prove how much they know. More valuable than knowledge is a seller’s ability to ask the buyer what they need and how the seller can help. Humility in modern sales is about having confidence in what you have to offer, but also having the patience and maturity to offer yourself as a peer or partner rather than an authority.
This quality allows you to connect to the emotional needs of the buyer, but also to objectively consider their thoughts and beliefs so you can act in their best interests. For example, let’s say you’re a wedding planner, and you have a devout Christian buyer who wants to find a catering company for her wedding. She says she wants the cheapest option, but it’s equally important that the company align with her faith. You have a cheap option you can offer her. You also have an option that costs a bit more, but the company offering it has a Christian background and prioritizes their beliefs. If you consider what you’ve learned about your client’s needs and beliefs, you might suggest the Christian catering company, highlighting that while the cheaper company would fulfill her immediate need, the Christian company might create a more meaningful overall experience for her.
How to Develop Empathy to Support Connection
In Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman describes emotional intelligence as made up of five skills. Of the five, empathy (defined by Goleman as recognizing emotions in others) is the most relevant skill for sales positions or other environments where you need to connect with others. It can be strengthened through consistent practice. To improve empathy, therapists recommend strategies including: being curious about other people, stepping out of your comfort zone to interact with others, getting feedback from family and friends on improving your listening skills, examining your biases, and putting yourself in others’ shoes.
Pink’s third quality for establishing connection is curiosity. Ask thoughtful questions to help you learn how your service or product can benefit the buyer. For example, if you’re trying to sell an iPhone, you can ask the buyer what some of their favorite daily activities are. Let’s say their answer is something relating to exercise—you might later show them the benefits of Apple’s “health” app.
Curiosity Drives Connection
Sales managers seek curiosity in potential hires because they recognize that curiosity helps sellers connect with buyers and their needs, allowing them to create a more successful overall experience for both parties.
This is the ability to recognize and respond quickly to change, whether it’s change in the selling environment or the needs of the buyer. For example, say you’re attempting to sell a health supplement and your buyer mentions suddenly an additional ailment they suffer from. Using adaptability, you might consider other health supplements you can pitch to the buyer that can be a solution to the newly uncovered ailment. Ambiverts often make great salespeople because they have both introvert and extrovert qualities, allowing them to adapt to their environment or to a specific customer.
Adapting to Market Changes
Given that the marketplace is constantly changing (as a result of the technology boom and the elimination of the information gap), success and long-term security in sales require being able to pivot with change. For example, research reveals that 60% of the online buying process takes place before the customer connects with a salesperson. To adapt, successful salespeople customize their assistance instead of focusing on basic product information.
Pink recommends three techniques for practicing connection.
Perspective-taking is the ability to get outside yourself and objectively imagine the experience of others. It facilitates openness, clarity, and efficiency without sacrificing profit.
To sell effectively, you need to understand the preferences and biases of the buyer. Many assume empathy is the best way to achieve this. Pink sees empathy as an effective connection and persuasion skill but considers it limited because it’s subjective and emotion-based, which means you’re more likely to misunderstand the needs of your buyer (or sacrifice your own). An example of this is overly empathizing with a customer who doesn’t have great finances, making a sale that serves them but doesn’t allow you to profit at all (sacrificing self-interest). Another example is catering to a buyer's emotions so much that you lose objectivity and fail to suggest otherwise effective solutions.
Perspective-taking helps you think outside of yourself to get into the heads or hearts of others in a more calculated way. It keeps you objective and logical (rather than subjective and emotional), making you more likely to accurately address the needs and perspective of a buyer without sacrificing your own needs and perspective. That way, when a customer comes to you with a problem, not only do you find a solution, but you may even identify additional problems and provide solutions for those too. For example, if you have a client with poor finances, instead of offering them a discount that cuts into your profit, you might offer them an affordable payment plan. This allows you to receive fair pay while allowing the buyer to make the purchase (solution to initial problem) as well as build financial discipline (solution to additional problem).
Understanding Perspective
As valuable as perspective-taking is for building your connection with a buyer, it’s not always easy to use. Applying perspective-taking effectively requires understanding five critical aspects.
All perspectives are unique.
A person’s perspective dictates what they perceive and experience.
Perspectives can shift depending on a multitude of factors.
Perspective dictates how communication is received. A message can mean different things through the lens of different perspectives.
It’s common to assume that your perspective is the dominant perspective. This is how misunderstandings occur because it is difficult to identify the difference between your own perspective and the perspectives of others. For example, if you’re a white male, you may assume that your experience and perspective are the same as those of a Black woman, causing you to misunderstand the nuances of her perspective and superimpose your own experiences over hers.
Tips for Improving Perspective-Taking
Practice setting aside your beliefs, opinions, and motivations to consider those of others.
Practice determining whether taking on the perspective of others warrants a change in behavior on your part, and in cases where it does, practice making the change.
Pink believes that when you assume you’re the one with the power, you impede your ability to perspective-take because you’re attached to your own perspective and dismissive of the perspectives of others. The perception of power causes you to tune in less to those around you, skewing your view of reality. Manipulation, coercion, and ignoring the needs of the buyer are all behaviors you’re more prone to when you assume power, and they prevent success in today’s sales environment. If you instead assume the power lies with the buyer, you’ll more naturally focus on their needs and be better able to serve them. Letting someone else have the power is often seen as a weakness, but in this case, doing so places you in a position of strength, because you serve your buyer rather than yourself, increasing your chances of a successful sale.
How Power Makes Empathy Harder
Power helps you get things done, but on the flip side, it also makes you less empathetic for two reasons:
You don’t care as much about getting along with others. For those in higher status positions, it’s less necessary to connect with others, and over time this makes it both harder and less appealing to understand or engage with people.
You’re more focused on your own needs than the needs of others. You’re primarily concerned with accomplishing your goals, so you care less about what others need.
Mirroring or mimicking words and gestures can enhance buyer trust, and increase connection between buyer and seller because we trust people we perceive as being like us. Pink states that it’s innate for humans to mimic each other. Scientists see mimicry as demonstrating social trust. They call it “the chameleon effect.” Mimicry is effective because in primitive times we lived in smaller groups of people we trusted. Now, it’s not as easy to determine who can be trusted, so we look for environmental cues and signs of trustworthiness. We trust those who match our behavioral or vocal patterns.
A Dutch study demonstrated the usefulness of mimicry in sales by showing that waitresses who mimicked customer orders (repeating them back verbatim) were more likely to receive large tips than their peers who didn’t. Similarly, in a study at Duke University participants responded more positively to a new sports drink when they were subtly mimicked by the interviewer.
Downsides to Mimicry
While mimicry can create rapport, it can just as easily undermine it:
Mimicry can be negative when done in inappropriate contexts or inappropriate ways. It can actually upset people, preventing positive rapport both consciously and subconsciously.
It can bring up bad feelings related to race and culture. Studies show that when a person mimics someone of the same race, rapport is more positive than if a person mimics someone of a different race (this undermines rapport).
It can make people think of things that cause stress. A 2011 study showed that when the person doing the mimicking causes the other person to think about money, they may feel threatened and think poorly of the one mimicking.
Pink outlines three steps for mimicking in a sales conversation:
Step #1: Observe
Observe the other person, their patterns of speech, body language, facial expressions, and mannerisms.
Step #2: Be judicious
Don’t immediately mimic them. Take your time and test mimicry sparingly. Don’t bombard them with it.
Step #3: Relax
Once you’ve mimicked intentionally, relax and try not to think much about what you’re doing. Mimicry is natural to humans, and it will eventually become instinctive.
Mimicry Techniques: Matching, Pacing, and Leading
Win Bigly author Scott Adams, who writes about persuasion, suggests how to use mimicry techniques in several scenarios:
Sales: Set an equal pace with a potential customer by verbally showing you have similar interests and values; also discuss how they’re like your other clients. This is a form of mimicry that builds trust. Then lead them by explaining why your product or service makes logical sense for people sharing these interests.
Hiring situations: Build familiarity with a hiring manager by matching their behavior (posture, speaking, and email style). Then verbally paint a picture (future pacing) that helps them visualize you working for them—for example, your contacts can get them better prices—prompting them to think beyond the hiring decision.
Negotiation: Besides matching the other party’s body language, lead them to your desired argument by initially matching their argument (setting the pace): “That’s a very reasonable approach...but I wonder if it covers all the bases—for instance…”
Pink notes that we often assume extroverts are the best salespeople; however, ambiverts, who fall in the middle of the introvert-extrovert spectrum, actually have the edge in sales. While extroverts are naturally outgoing, more likely to converse and connect, and so on, that doesn’t necessarily translate to results (sales performance or volume).
In one study comparing personality traits of over 300 sales reps with their sales performance, extroverts only minimally outperformed introverts. Ambiverts outperformed both extroverts and introverts. The study suggested that being either too extroverted or too introverted impedes performance. Why? Extroverts can be overly assertive and persistent in a way that turns off buyers, while introverts can be too shy to open a deal or push a deal forward.
Extroverts and introverts also differ in how they handle two core sales skills: responding and inspecting. Responding is about asking questions, engaging, and advising, while inspecting is about listening and observing. Extroverts are generally responders, while introverts tend to be inspectors. Sales requires a balance of both responding and inspecting, which ambiverts tap into most easily. Therefore, results imply that ambiverts are the best salespeople because they are naturally better at maximizing connection.
What Is An Ambivert and Why Are They Good Salespeople?
According to research, ambiverts (who make up roughly 68% of the population) have many characteristics and benefits that make them good at sales.
Characteristics of ambiverts:
Are comfortable in social settings, but drained after too much exposure
Enjoy attention but within limits
Are seen by some as social, and as quiet by others
Can relax but get bored if there isn’t enough movement
Equally as prone to getting lost in thought as in a conversation
Are capable of small talk, but become bored eventually
Have equal potential for trust and distrust
Benefits of being an ambivert in sales include these abilities:
Finding a middle ground between being too aggressive and too passive
Analyzing while still remaining connected
Being assertive and committed without being overbearing
Connecting with the needs of most customers
Maintaining a steady drive to achieve
Consider your own natural inclinations when connecting to others.
Are you more extroverted or introverted? Or do you fall somewhere in the middle? Describe the ways in which you fit into one of these categories.
How do you best create connections with others? How might these skills be helpful in a sales context?
Whether you lean toward extroversion or introversion, what skills can you practice to become more flexible?
Even if you’re able to create meaningful connections as a salesperson, you’ll still get more rejections than sales. The key to bouncing back from rejection, or being resilient, is optimism, the second component of Pink’s contemporary sales model. Pink recommends building optimism into the three stages of the sales process: your preparation, your handling of the sales conversation, and your evaluation afterward.
Pink notes that the most difficult part of the sales process is usually hyping yourself up to get it started. The key is how you use self-talk. People talk to themselves all the time—sometimes it’s positive self-talk, mostly it’s negative self-talk, but all of it is generally “declarative.” Declarative self-talk states what something is, or what something will be. An example is “I am powerful,” or, “I suck and I’ll always suck.” Positive declarative self-talk is effective, but it’s also definitive, rather than open-ended. It doesn’t inspire growth or change.
Pink argues that the most effective style of self-talk is interrogative; people who use it outperform those using declarative self-talk. Interrogative self-talk asks questions instead of making statements. Asking questions prompts insight into how to do whatever you’re preparing for and how to get better results. It also gives your goals meaning, which helps you motivate yourself to achieve them.
The Five Categories of Optimistic Sales Preparation
Sales experts note that when you use interrogative self-talk to prepare for a sales interaction, it’s important to focus your questions within categories that sharpen your understanding of your buyer’s specific needs. The goal is to know exactly who you are, who your buyer is, and what value you bring to the transaction. This builds both confidence and optimism. Consider the following categories and questions:
Intention: “What are my intentions?” Get specific. Ask yourself what the ideal outcome is for the transaction, both for you and for your buyer. Then identify topics important to your buyer and develop a set of questions tailored to those topics.
Value: “Why is what I’m selling valuable?” Get clear on your worth. Demonstrate respect for their time by preparing the talking points that will lead them to a quick and beneficial solution to their needs. Know the value of what you’re bringing to the table, and make it actionable.
Structure: “What will the interaction look like?” Create a blueprint for the transaction. Plan how you’ll open the transaction, identify key potential transition points, and try to time your questions or pitches to best match each transition point.
Outcome: “What is my ideal outcome?” Imagine how you want the interaction to go. Practice visualizing your idea of a successful transaction. Allow yourself to imagine it step by step, expecting a positive outcome. Pay attention to how you feel as you do this, and carry that feeling with you into the actual transaction.
Research: “Is there anything else I need to know?” Do thorough research. Be sure to know as much as possible about your buyer, their needs, and their goals. This allows you to understand the bigger picture while also attending to key details.
After building optimism into your preparations, the next step is to maintain it during the sales process. It’s important to create a positive environment during a sale, both internally (for the seller), and externally (for the buyer).
Research indicates that there is a golden ratio of positive to negative experience. When you experience three positive sensations to one negative sensation, your well-being improves. When you experience 11 positive sensations to one negative sensation, your well-being decreases. A healthy ratio of positive to negative sensations makes the buyer more receptive, and more likely to take positive action (like make a purchase). Additionally, as a seller, when you feel positively about your product (as well as the sales process), you see a broader range of options and solutions, making it easier to connect with the buyer. This increases buyer trust.
Pink advises practicing positivity during a sale by expressing friendly emotions, using the 3 to 1 ratio when describing the positive or negative aspects of your product or service, and emphasizing your belief in it (“I’d personally pay more than I’m selling this for because I truly believe in the value of it”).
(Shortform note: While there is little doubt that positive experiences improve well-being, there is doubt about the legitimacy of the golden ratio rule. According to some studies, there is no scientific evidence that the mathematical formula the golden ratio theory is based on can be applied to feelings and well-being. The formula is reportedly based on fluid dynamics (a field of study within the physics family), and authors argue that the equations the original researchers came up with can’t measure changes in behavior or emotion.)
3 Ways to Maintain a Positive Sales Environment
The environment you create can often make or break a sales transaction, and it’s not just about thinking positively—your actions need to match your mindset. Consider the following tips for maintaining an optimistic sales environment:
Use wording that inspires positive action. For example, let’s say you’re trying to sell a gym membership to a buyer and they say something like, “I’ve never liked going to the gym,” you can shift the energy in a positive direction by asking “what would get you excited about going to the gym, and what can I do to help you have that experience?”
Frame your buyer optimistically. Identify opportunities to give your buyer genuine compliments or to acknowledge their strengths. For example, if you’re trying to sell sports equipment and your buyer is critiquing all the products, you might say something like, “I’m so impressed by your expertise. I can see how much you care about finding a high-quality product, and I’m excited to help you find one that meets your standards.”
Demonstrate respect. This is often easy to do when a transaction is going smoothly, but more difficult when there are bumps in the road. For example, if a buyer is distrustful, stubborn, or rude it can be tempting to get frustrated and match their energy. Instead, remain patient, positive, and calm. This will increase trust and help keep the buyer open to a purchase.
In addition to integrating optimism into preparing for and conducting a sales transaction, Pink views it as equally important to reflect with optimism afterward because how we describe our experiences determines how we feel about them. If we have a bad day, and we think about how bad it was, we feel bad. If we are optimistic, we feel better.
Emphasis on the negative can lead to learned helplessness. Learned helplessness occurs when an experience of powerlessness persists to a point where an individual feels powerless even after there is no longer anything controlling their environment. It’s directly influenced by a person’s explanatory style. For example, let’s say you try to sell a product to your mailman and he impatiently or rudely rejects you. If you’re operating from a pessimistic explanatory style, you might say, “All mailmen are jerks,” or, “Now he’ll hate me forever,” or, “I’m a terrible salesperson.”
Those who are vulnerable to learned helplessness generally have these beliefs about negative experiences:
The solution to learned helplessness is maintaining “flexible optimism,” or an “optimistic explanatory style” that sees negative experiences as:
Consider again the example with the mailman. You can practice an optimistic explanatory style by saying, “He might have been behind on his route and in a rush” (circumstantial). Or, “He might have been having a hard day” (temporary). Or, “He might have just been irritable due to negative experiences with other salespeople” (impersonal).
Victim Mentality Versus Growth Mindset
In a sales context, a victim mentality is detrimental and ultimately leads to chronic learned helplessness. When you see yourself as a victim, you prevent sales success because you begin to feel powerless and expect failure. A growth mindset leads to flexible optimism, supporting sales success by creating a sense of empowerment, confidence, and optimism.
A victim mentality looks like:
Sensitivity to rejection.
Defeated self-talk
A sense of others being more capable.
A lack of willingness to take creative initiative.
A growth mindset looks like:
An emphasis on effort
A foundation of self-discipline
A resilient attitude
A sense of ownership.
A willingness to take creative initiative.
Recall a recent experience of rejection (ideally in a sales context). Use the optimistic explanatory style to reframe the experience.
Think about how you felt after the rejection. Did the experience feel permanent? Why or why not?
Did the experience feel universal or due to circumstance? How so?
Did the experience feel personal to you? Why or why not?
How can you reframe this experience? (In other words, how can you optimistically describe it to others?)
How can you prepare for your next sale? What kinds of questions can you ask yourself to increase your optimism?
The last component of Pink’s modern sales model is focus. According to Pink, focus in a sales context is the ability to help people change their perspective, zero in on problems they didn’t know they had, and help to create solutions. There are two main obstacles buyers encounter in a transaction that focus can resolve: difficulty delaying gratification and difficulty imagining their future possibilities. Here’s how sellers can help buyers to resolve these obstacles:
Problem 1: Buyers often have a hard time weighing immediate rewards versus delayed rewards. We are more inclined toward instant gratification even if delayed gratification better serves our specific needs.
Solution 1: Give the buyer a way to do the “right thing” by default. Offer the buyer a solution to focus on that they can access immediately and requires no decision-making on their part.
Solution 2: Remind the buyer of the long-term consequences of accepting short-term solutions, and the long-term benefits of delayed gratification. Get the buyer focused on how their purchase will improve their life in the long term, even though it will cost them resources in the short term.
Delayed Gratification Versus Instant Gratification
Delayed gratification in a sales context creates anxiety because there is a psychological awareness that a need is not being met. For example, if you’re hungry, and someone tells you that you can have a snack now or wait several more hours for dinner, you’ll probably choose the immediate option because it will meet the immediate need.
Instant gratification is more appealing than delayed gratification, so sellers are best able to influence buyers if they can offer them something valuable that is immediately available. For example, in a sales transaction, if you’re selling gym memberships, and you have a client who is getting into exercise to boost their mental health, you’re more likely to be successful with your sale if you highlight that exercise will quickly boost their dopamine levels, creating immediate relief.
Problem 2: Research shows we’re not able to make an emotional connection between our present and future selves. Therefore, the idea of making choices based on what’s good for our future self rather than our present self is unappealing (it feels like making choices for a stranger), and our choices become less focused as a result.
Solution: Paint an image of the future self in a way that is familiar, yet improved. You can use a digital image, but in general, it can be done through description alone.
(Shortform note: Persuading people to make decisions for their future benefit presents a challenge for public policymakers too. In Nudge, authors Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein propose ways the government can encourage people to make beneficial long-term choices, including providing a default, or a choice that’s made automatically if the chooser does nothing. For instance, to get people to save for retirement, they propose that employers automatically enroll employees in a retirement plan while offering the option to opt out. Employers who do offer automatic enrollment have found that participation jumps, and few opt out.)
According to Pink, there are seven approaches you can take to help a customer develop focus.
In Pink’s view, sales “movement” is less about problem solving and more about problem finding. Buyers are more likely to allow you to provide them a service when they have problems they’re not aware of or need further understanding of. If they’re aware of their problem, they don’t need help from others, they can just solve it themselves. If they don’t have knowledge of their problem, that is when they need the support of others. That means the people who are most valuable in sales are not people who can quickly close a sale, but people who seek to discover problems with the buyer and determine pathways for a solution together.
For example, say you sell houses, and you’re working with a buyer who has a family of four. If you’re focused on problem solving, you might simply find the buyer a few houses in his price range with three or four bedrooms. If you’re focused on problem finding, you will take the time to ask the buyer questions about his family to identify their specific needs, provide him with a variety of options that meet those needs, make adjustments if necessary, and work with the buyer until a house is found that truly satisfies him.
Problem Finding Versus Problem Solving:
Problem solving feels mechanical, whereas problem finding feels innovative. It allows you to make discoveries and connections you wouldn’t notice easily otherwise. Additionally, according to Einstein, identifying a problem is more important than solving a problem, because the solving of a problem requires little imagination—just the ability to engage in trial and error and the use of logic. Identifying a problem requires creativity, asking innovative questions, and unlocks new possibilities that didn’t seem to exist prior to the identification process.
Creating contrast by comparing items for your buyer also helps them develop focus. Research shows people are better able to understand or comprehend something when they see it alongside something else. “Compared to what?” is a critical question in the selling process. Contrast allows you to display the virtues of an option by, for example, displaying the flaws of another option. For example, if you’re selling a health supplement, you might compare it with other brands of the same supplement, and illustrate the differences between brands.
The Contrast Principle: Influencing Focus
In The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini explores how comparison shapes the way we perceive things and how that can be harnessed for sales success. According to Cialdini, when we experience two things at the same time or one after another, we automatically compare the value of the second to the value of the first. Our opinion of the second item is heavily influenced by the way we perceive the first item. For example, if you’re buying a set of curtains, and the salesperson shows you a set that you consider to be extremely ugly, followed by a second set that you’d consider average on their own, the second set will seem better looking in comparison to the first. You’re automatically more likely to buy the average set than you would have been had they been your only option.
Giving your buyer fewer options to choose from makes it easier for them to decide to buy. According to Pink, more options drive more initial interest, but fewer options increase the likelihood of a sale.
In a well-known Columbia University study, researchers set up booths at a grocery store for jam sampling. The first round provided 24 options, and the second round reduced that number to six. The study found that more people engaged with the booth in the first round, but the second round yielded more actual purchases. Cutting the options from 24 to six made a purchase 10 times more likely. The implication is that limiting options increases focus. Why? It prevents buyers from becoming overwhelmed by possibilities and allows them to fully evaluate available choices.
How Many Choices Should You Offer?
When it comes to providing options, studies indicate that the sweet spot is to offer more than one but no more than three options to customers. When more than one option is offered, the customer feels as though their needs have been heard, and the seller is knowledgeable about what can meet those needs. More than three options overwhelms the customer, making them less likely to take any of the options. This is due at least in part to the “rule of three,” which stipulates that short-term memory capacity only comfortably allows for three significant pieces of information to be remembered at a time. More than three, and there is a risk of information not being retained and feelings of frustration. In short, the human brain is designed to thrive with simplicity, and sales representatives who cater to this have more success.
A fourth way to help create focus for buyers is to get them excited about the experience of using the product or service rather than its practical features. People identify more with experiences than material goods because, unlike practical or material products, experiences can be talked about and shared with others.
For example, let’s say you’re trying to sell a customer a basketball for their son’s graduation party, but the customer is not sure she needs one. You can help the customer develop focus by describing how the basketball might be used to enhance the party. You might describe how basketball can help to create an experience of community and entertainment for partygoers. The customer might realize that is exactly the experience she wants partygoers to have, and with that clarity, decide to purchase the basketball.
Why Is Selling Experiences More Effective Than Selling Products?
Experiences often resonate more than products because:
Customers are motivated to buy by their emotions. Research shows that 90% of sales decisions are made subconsciously. We are, on the surface, seeking a product or service, but we are really paying more attention to how that product or service makes us feel. For example, you might go to a specific coffee shop regularly, not because the coffee tastes good, but because the employees treat you warmly.
Experiences are easier to relate to. You can discuss details of a product or service (for example, “with this cellular device you get 250 GB of storage space”), but you’ll connect more meaningfully with your buyer if you emphasize your experience with it (for example, “I have a passion for photography, so having the largest storage option on my phone allows me to hold onto all those memories”). According to research, only the language processing center of the brain is activated when people hear factual details, but more parts of the brain are activated when they also consider experiences.
Modern buyers care more about what they do than about what they own. Material possessions used to be a symbol of status, but have lost importance in recent years, partly due to the attitudes of millennials (72% prefer experiences to products), but the change applies to all age groups.
The picture you paint matters. Labeling what you’re selling in a positive way makes it more attractive to the buyer, particularly if you use comparison (for example, you can describe the experience as one that most will never have and show the buyer why they are special if they have that experience).
There is value to including negative labels as well, to a point. People are more likely to buy after hearing mostly positive labels and a few negative labels than after hearing entirely positive labels. This is called the blemishing effect, which means using a minor negative aspect of something to frame or enhance the positive. An example would be talking up a used car to a buyer, and then after highlighting all its best qualities, pointing out a minor negative detail. This minor negative detail highlights the positive details more dramatically.
The blemishing effect works best under two conditions.
Condition #1: Buyers need to be in a “low effort” state of mind—meaning they aren’t in a hurry to find a solution to their problem. An example is someone whose attention is on other things, like a busy producer always on their phone who just wants someone else to take care of the problem as soon as possible.
Condition #2: The negative information needs to be shared after the positive. The comparison of positive followed by negative moves the buyer to clarity.
How the Blemishing Effect Works
Researchers have studied the impact of presenting negative information to people assessing the value of a product. The type of negative information varied, from legitimate drawbacks of the product to details that were inconsequential. The researchers found that people are more attracted to a product after receiving negative information as long as they have already received positive information that outweighs the negative information.
The positive information needs to come first because of the primacy effect, in which the first point a person hears in an argument is the point they are most attached to. Therefore, if they hear a piece of positive information about a product first, they will have a positive impression of the product. Hearing mildly negative information after the fact influences them to reassess for a moment, but as long as the positive outweighs the negative, they will double down on their positive impression. This is due to attitude polarization, in which a person’s original opinion becomes more extreme after considering new (opposing) information.
Emphasizing the potential of a product or service also helps a customer decide to buy. For example, get a buyer excited about a new iPhone to replace their current one by emphasizing the fun new features they’ll be able to use or how it will improve their life. Studies show that the possibility of one day being skilled at something is more appealing than already having the skill. Why? Uncertainty. According to research, being uncertain makes you think more deeply about whatever is causing the uncertainty. This encourages you to imagine more possibilities and become excited by their potential. When selling yourself, frame your potential rather than your existing value. For example, if you’re seeking a promotion, share your goals for the position with your boss.
The Shadow Side of Uncertainty
While uncertainty may encourage “potential-centric” thinking, too much uncertainty encourages buyers to stick with the products or services they’re used to—even if a new product or service would provide a better experience. For many buyers, uncertainty creates a fear of not getting what they want.
Jonah Berger, author of Contagious and The Catalyst, believes uncertainty is one of five obstacles to influencing a person’s mindset (and therefore, their actions). People who are about to make a purchase want to feel certain of their decision. If they feel uncertain, they experience discomfort that they automatically want to avoid. As a result, buyers associate discomfort with the product, service, or seller, and may decline the transaction to avoid the feeling. Additionally, having a vague sense of a product or service leads to a devaluing of that product or service (known as the uncertainty tax).
A final way to bring focus is giving buyers an “off-ramp,” or a clear path to the resolution of a problem. Providing focus is not just about thinking, it’s about action. What moves people is not simply the identification of a solution or a goal, but a roadmap that shows them how to reach it.
The Power of the Call to Action
One way to give a buyer an off-ramp is to provide a call to action. A call to action is an easy way for the buyer to take an immediate, specific action. For example, when you buy a car, dealerships will often take care of registration, insurance, and financing so all you need to do is “sign on the dotted line and grab the keys.” When you don’t incorporate this strategy into your sales pitches, you are more likely to lose a sale or a customer. There are two lines of thinking that lead to this pitfall:
Assuming that the buyer has enough clarity and motivation to take action on their own.
Fear that a call to action is too aggressive and will push the buyer away.
Even if a buyer knows what they want, always give them clear information and directions. This will ensure a smooth closure of the sale. Rather than overwhelming buyers, having a clear, simple path to take relieves them of the pressure to act from uncertainty.
Focus in the Midst of Noise
Your biggest challenge as a seller is to cut through the “noise” and get to the heart of your buyer’s needs. Noise can be anything that distracts from what you’re offering as a seller (examples include services that are more exciting or create a stronger sense of urgency, and truthfully, any other ways buyers can spend their resources elsewhere). You need to create a controlled environment for your buyer that helps them to focus on you and what you’re offering. One way to do this is by directly acknowledging and demystifying the noise upfront. For example, if you’re selling a cell phone service, you might identify each of your competitors by name and briefly note the ways they don’t serve your buyer’s needs.
According to Pink, asking the right questions improves focus by creating a better understanding of the buyer’s needs. It’s the key to getting results. If you’re preparing for a sales opportunity of any kind, three steps will help you to develop a great set of questions you should be able to use in most cases.
Write down as many questions as you can think of that may be relevant to your interaction or transaction. Refrain from editing, and write them quickly, without curating.
Put each of your questions into one of two categories: Open-ended, or closed. Looking at your lists, consider the strengths and weaknesses of both styles of questions. Choose a couple of closed questions, and create some open-ended variations, then do the reverse.
Narrow your questions to the three most powerful or significant. Edit them again to be sure they make sense. These are the questions you should lead with. Use these questions as a way to speculate on the general needs of buyers, but also ask them directly to build connection.
These steps are valuable for salespeople, but also for those doing other types of selling. For example, if you have a job interview, use the steps to develop questions to ask your potential employer.
How to Improve Your Questions
Other sales experts note that sales success is not just about asking questions, but asking the right questions in the right way. Appropriate questions not only clarify what the buyer needs, but also allow buyer and seller to better build connection and trust. Here are five tips for asking better questions:
Use the correct order of open versus closed questions. Open-ended questions (that can’t be answered with yes or no) are most effective at the start and through the middle of a transaction because it helps to expand rapport and build trust. Closed questions (with yes or no answers) are best at the end when you’re ready to conclude the sale.
Take each question one by one. Allow the buyer to fully answer one question before you ask another. Otherwise you may overwhelm them and risk losing trust.
Tailor your questions to the situation. Rather than planning questions in advance, let them arise naturally so they are personalized to the interaction. This allows for a more genuine connection.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions unrelated to the sale. Asking less formal, more personal questions builds rapport.
Refrain from answering your own questions. You will always gain greater clarity if you wait for the buyer to answer your questions, rather than feeding them the answers you want them to have.
The Six Universal Principles of Persuasion
Overall, the new sales model is a way to move others to act in a way that best serves their needs. How else can you move others to action? In Influence, Robert Cialdini says that anytime people engage in a decision-making process, they follow a set of rules; he gives six principles (some with arguably questionable ethics) that help sellers to influence that decision.
Reciprocity: If you want someone to agree to a request, do something nice for them just because—and then ask; they’ll likely feel compelled to do you the favor of complying. For instance, if you want to convince your friend to join the gym with you, treat your friend to a coffee, then broach the subject of joining the gym together.
Commitment/Consistency: People generally prefer to maintain a fixed sense of self. If you get someone to agree to something small, they will go out of their way to maintain that commitment if you make increasingly larger, related requests. Using the gym example, you might ask your friend if they’ll go on a weekly walk with you to help you stay motivated. Then work up to pitching them on the gym membership.
Social proof: This principle relies on the natural human instinct to belong in a social context, which influences conformity. If others are doing something, we are more likely to do it as well. So, in the context of a sales transaction, if you show a buyer a long list of positive reviews for your product or service, they are more likely to trust it. If the review comes from someone they know, they are even more likely to trust it.
Liking: This principle indicates that you are more likely to have a positive outcome with a buyer if they see you as someone they’d be friends with. Someone is more likely to comply with requests from people they know and like, people who are associated with those they know and like, and people who they believe like them. For example, your odds are better asking a friend than a neighbor.
Authority: This principle is about being seen as an expert in whatever you are selling. People are more inclined to do something if an expert or authority figure tells them to. Again using the gym example, you might show your friend research proving that people with workout buddies are more consistent than solo exercisers.
Scarcity: People find rare and exclusive things more appealing, so you can influence people to take your offer if you make it appear scarce or fleeting. For example, point out that you’re both so busy that partner workouts would be a rare opportunity to regularly spend time together.
This exercise will help you become a “problem finder.”
Consider a product or service you want to sell and quickly write down as many questions as you can that relate to it (without self-editing).
Select one closed question and convert it to an open-ended question (for example, “Is this product durable?” might become, “What are the strengths and weaknesses of this product?” Or “How long will this product last and why?”).
Take a look at all your questions. Which questions feel like they will most powerfully influence your buyer? Why?
Choose the top three questions. How might you use these in a future sales conversation?
In these final three chapters, Pink discusses three abilities to help you make the most of his new sales model. In this chapter, you’ll learn about the “pitch” and how it has evolved for modern selling. Pitching is the ability to make a quick, persuasive appeal for an idea or product.
The elevator pitch is an old-school method for introducing your ideas to others in a way that is both memorable and intriguing. When you give an elevator pitch, you communicate a complex statement in a quick, simple way.
Pink argues that the pitch is outdated for two reasons:
Has the Digital Age Ended the Sales Pitch Entirely?
The digital age hasn’t necessarily ended the sales pitch, but calling it a pitch may no longer make sense—especially as selling shifts to a service mentality. The idea of a sales “pitch” implies that the interaction is one-way. A more appropriate term might be “negotiation.” There is still a pitch involved, but now it generally comes after a period of collaboration, in which the seller and buyer connect on a meaningful level, discuss the buyer’s needs, and establish a sense of trust.
Pink contends we need to clarify our pitches for the age of over-information. We also need to gear them toward serving the buyer. Pink identifies four types of pitches to replace the elevator pitch.
Ruthlessly distill your ideas to a single word. Doing this creates clarity and develops discipline. It also gets right to the heart of an idea, inspiring movement.
For example, during Barack Obama’s first presidential campaign, his one-word pitch was “change.”
The Most Persuasive Words in the English Language
Presentation skills expert Guila Muir has identified 12 of the most persuasive words in the English language. Consider the following five of those 12 words for your next one-word pitch.
Results. This word is powerful because it zeroes in on what the outcome will be for your “buyer” (or whomever you are seeking to persuade).
Discovery. This word may cause feelings of excitement in those you pitch it to.
Free. This word has many connotations that create a feeling of optimism and expansion, like “no cost to you” and “limitless.”
Easy. It is difficult to resist the implications of the word easy, as many are seeking simple solutions to their problems.
Guarantee. This word creates a feeling of security, making buyers feel more comfortable taking risks.
Take your idea, and craft a question that makes a statement. For example, instead of making the statement, “You will benefit from therapy,” you can ask the question, “How do you want to feel about yourself a year from now?” Research in the 1980s found that questions are more effective than statements when it comes to influencing someone. Statements are passive and prevent collaboration, while questions invite connection, contemplation, and collaboration, which all create movement.
Four Types of Questions Every Salesperson Should Utilize
Questions are arguably the most valuable tool available to you in a transaction. Cover all your bases by asking the following four types of questions.
Thoughtful questions. The questions are designed to expand the perspective of the buyer. They boost clarity and build trust. For example, if you’re selling solar panels, you might ask something like “what do you think are the benefits and drawbacks of solar power?”
Clarifying questions. These are often closed questions and serve as check-ins for you to make sure you’re understanding your buyer’s needs correctly. For example, if you have a buyer who wants to buy a family cell phone plan, you might ask them to confirm how many people they want on the plan.
Assessment questions. These are questions focused on identifying the goals and/or priorities of buyers. For example, if you’re pitching a tutoring service, you might ask your potential buyer what their learning goals are.
Informational questions. These are questions designed to gather practical information that serves as insight into the buyer’s needs. For example, if you’re selling a marketing service, you might ask your buyer questions like, “What is your target audience” and “How much traffic do you want to drive to your site?”
If you’re sending a pitch through email, put the core pitch in the subject line. It’s the first thing people scan for when they check their inbox. An intriguing subject line makes someone more likely to invest in opening and reading the email.
Example: “3 Reasons You Should Invest in Cryptocurrency”
Four Rules for Crafting a Subject-Line Pitch
With email a prominent form of communication in the business world, a good subject-line pitch is critical. According to research, the subject of an email has a 35% influence on whether or not an email is opened. Consider the following rules as you craft your subject-line pitches.
Use active language (rather than passive).
Make it short and sweet.
Refrain from using descriptive language.
Keep it specific.
Use Twitter and the character count limit on posts to make a pitch for your idea. Successful tweet pitches are engaging and inspire action. A 2011 study on tweets showed that tweets with the lowest engagement are complaining, self-interested, or lack substance. Tweets with the highest engagement ask good questions, are informative, and are self-promotional (a sales pitch tweet that provides useful information or service).
Why Twitter Is a Lucrative Modern Sales Environment
Twitter is becoming an increasingly popular marketing tool as social media plays a more and more significant role in our daily lives. This provides sellers with a unique environment for consumer engagement. There are three compelling reasons to market your services or products via Twitter.
The platform allows for casual and organic communication.
There’s an equal power dynamic between buyers and sellers.
Twitter is home to a diversity of people.
Elements of an Effective Pitch
Identify your target audience. Do this by considering who will benefit most from what you’re offering.
Identify the environment of your target audience. If you understand the lifestyle of those you’re intending to serve or inspire, you’ll have a better sense of where to promote your ideas.
Identify the needs of your target audience. Make what you’re offering as relevant to them and their needs as possible.
Get your message across as quickly as possible. The modern attention span is short, so try to get your message across in roughly three seconds.
Give them a “call to action.” Make it easy for them to move forward with you by telling them exactly how to do so and making that process simple.
In addition, in Pitch Anything, Oren Klaff recommends appealing to the primitive part of the brain, or your target’s emotions—for example, by making your message novel or exciting so it won’t be ignored.
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Take some time to review all the pitching approaches from this chapter. Consider an idea you would like to pitch.
How would you pitch the idea in one word?
How would you pitch the idea using a question?
Finally, write a Twitter pitch.
Bonus: Share one of your pitches with a friend or family member for feedback What was their reaction?
Once you’ve harnessed your pitching skills, Pink recommends learning improvisation to boost your creativity and adaptability. While improvisation is generally associated with theater, Pink contends it’s useful in sales too, because it can help you work through changing or unfavorable sales conditions. He points out that sales and theater are similar in several ways:
Similarity #1: Acting and sales both require courage and risk-taking. Salespeople make cold calls and actors make themselves vulnerable to an audience.
Similarity #2: Actors and salespeople experience more rejection than success. Salespeople are regularly told no in aggressive ways; actors receive nos after unsuccessful auditions.
Similarity #3: Both careers have experienced a similar evolution. Both sales and theater have historically valued scripts, which worked well in a predictable environment. The world is now less predictable and more complicated, and it continues changing unpredictably. This makes improvisation more valuable than a script.
Three Things Salespeople Can Learn From Actors
Tell the truth: Despite the fact that they’re playing “make believe,” actors look for the most truthful way to portray a character. Similarly, sellers should be as authentic as possible when connecting with buyers. Authenticity builds trust and earns buyer respect.
Pay attention: The most important part of an actor’s job is listening. They listen with rapt attention to their scene partner, which allows them to respond with empathy and authenticity. Like a character in a scene, buyers have their own stories to tell, and sellers are most effective at meeting their needs when they care about the details of those stories.
You can’t play every role: Most actors aren’t versatile enough to play every type of role--they tend to find a niche. In a similar vein, not every product or service will fit every potential buyer. It’s important that sellers recognize and accept that they will not make every sale. When sellers can do this, they are able to focus on and find more success in the niches they best serve.
Pink argues that an ability to improvise can help you to adapt to changing or unfavorable sales conditions. But to improvise successfully, he recommends following three rules.
The best kind of listening you can do in any interaction (whether it be theatrical, personal, or professional) is active listening. Active listening is listening to receive what is shared with you and allowing it to move you to engage. It’s transformative, allowing you to pick up on opportunities or avenues of conversation that you didn’t know existed, and inspiring action. In an improv scene, active listening allows actors to respond organically and creatively. To listen actively, slow down and be present. Don’t listen to respond, listen to hear.
In contrast, most of what we do when we’re in conversation is passive listening, which is more about waiting for our turn to speak, rather than focusing on what is being said to us. Passive listening is transactional. It requires little to no intimacy, engagement, or action.
How to Improve Active Listening
Keep the following tips in mind when you’re listening to others.
Reduce distractions.
Turn your body in the direction of the person you’re listening to.
Try paraphrasing what others are sharing with you to check whether you’re hearing them correctly.
Demonstrate engagement by nodding, asking questions, or making encouraging comments.
Practice empathy by asking yourself questions like, “How would I feel if I were this person in this situation?”
The more you practice, the better your communication skills will be, and the more likely you are to connect successfully with others.
Say “Yes, and” rather than no or “yes, but.” In an improvisation scene, the story playing out onstage can only continue if each participant is accepting of new twists and turns. If a participant rejects or resists changes in circumstances, the story becomes limited and stagnant. Similarly, Pink cautions that if you say no to something in a sales transaction, or add a qualifier (like “yes, but”), it limits the paths available to you and shuts the conversation down. Saying “Yes, and” expands existing possibilities and opens new ones.
For example, let’s say you’re in the middle of a potential sale, and the client asks you, “Is this refundable?” If you say no, or, “Yes, but you only have 48 hours to request it,” this stagnates the conversation. A better response would be, “Yes, and you have a full 48 hours to see how you feel.” This creates expansive, positive energy.
The Power of the Word Yes
Research shows that positive words and phrases increase your well-being and sense of satisfaction. Whether the words are said aloud or in your head, they activate the centers of the brain that control motivation as well as support the long-term development of resilience.
Never have a “win/lose” perspective; always seek a “win/win” outcome. Make your partner (in theater or a sales transaction) look good. Create or paint the possibility of a result that will benefit all involved. In an improvisation scene, this means making choices that allow all the actors to perform their best, rather than focusing on one actor’s performance.
In a sales context, if you’re a used car salesman, and you can manipulate a client into purchasing a poor quality vehicle so you will make a large commission, you might call this a “win” by traditional sales standards. In principled negotiation, however, you’re willing to put extra energy into finding your client a car that fits her needs, even if it means taking a smaller commission. This allows both of you to win, but with integrity.
Three Tips for Principled Negotiation
When it feels difficult to pursue a win/win outcome, keep the following tips in mind.
“You versus the problem,” not “you versus each other.” Refrain from seeing one another as opponents. Keep communication clear, respectful, and focused on listening.
Be aware of everyone’s priorities and contexts. Keep in mind that people come from different backgrounds, statuses, and value systems and respect these differences equally.
Create solutions that benefit all involved. Stay open-minded and actively negotiate based on the key needs of those involved in a transaction.
Elements of Principled Negotiation
Getting to Yes lists four elements of principled negotiation:
Separate personalities and emotions from the issue.
Focus on the interests of each side, not on positions.
Come up with multiple options based on mutual interests.
Base the agreement on objective (fair and independent) standards.
The Value of Having a Sense of Humor
Humor can also be an effective improvisational technique, boosting your ability to connect, increasing positive energy, and relaxing those you’re selling to. Here are four ways to incorporate humor into your sales game:
Use simple jokes as icebreakers. If you can get someone to crack a smile, they’ll likely feel more comfortable with you. Research indicates that humor makes people more likable, and the more likable you are, the more likely you are to persuade a buyer to buy.
Set strategic limits. Humor, while valuable for connection, interrupts critical thinking, which makes it harder to persuade buyers to make a purchase. Keep your humor in check by using it before and after key moments during the sales transaction.
Use humor to make your pitches and presentations more memorable. When you’re able to make people laugh, you seem more confident, connected, and trustworthy. For example, if you’re selling a service to a company, and you make lighthearted jokes about the company’s competitors, you remove tension and build rapport.
Incorporate humor into your marketing strategies. Humor makes your message shareable, which expands your digital network. For example, the official Twitter account for Wendy’s playfully “roasts” other fast food places with humorous “clapbacks,” often going viral and attracting new customers in the process.
To make sure that you truly listen, Pink recommends pausing and counting to five before responding in a conversation.
The Value of the Pause
In a sales conversation, pausing has three key benefits.
You reduce the likelihood of interrupting your buyer, improving rapport and building trust.
You show your buyer that you care about and want to consider what they’re saying, making them feel valued and that their needs are important.
You give yourself the opportunity to truly understand what your buyer is communicating, boosting your ability to connect with and help them.
There are many games you can play to practice improvisation principles, including the following.
This game helps you to practice rule #2 of improvisation. It helps you to expand existing possibilities and create new ones.
Sit in a circle with five or more people to come up with a product or service idea and advertise it together. The first person starts with a pitch, slogan, or explanation, and the next person says, “Yes, and,” and builds upon that previous participant’s information.
This question exercise enhances clarity, adaptability, and connection.
Partner with someone and choose a contentious topic (for instance, Republicans versus Democrats). Have one partner select an opinion on the topic, and the other takes the opposing opinion. Next, one participant presents their opinion, and the other responds with questions only.
Rules for the questions are:
Pink contends that improvisation enhances the modern sales approach by creatively inspiring others to connect, collaborate, and identify or expand possibilities.
The Importance of Play
Play is valuable for people at any age, and in a sales context, it has numerous benefits.
Stress relief. Play releases endorphins, helping you stay positive and relaxed in transactions.
Enhanced brain function. Play improves memory and quick thinking.
Enhanced creativity. Play engages and expands your imagination, improving your ability to be flexible and find solutions to problems.
Deeper intimacy and connection with others. Openness to play and fun improves your ability to connect with others on a deeper level.
Boosted energy. Play supports healthy immune function and keeps you feeling energized.
All types of modern selling are about service. Being of service isn’t just being hospitable and friendly, it’s about identifying and fulfilling deeper needs in order to improve people’s lives. Beyond merely being an exchange of resources, a sale is a transaction meant to inspire change in people and organizations. This chapter will show you how to practice service-oriented selling. This type of selling is about moving others through persuasion, not to manipulate your own self-serving outcome, but to serve someone else. Pink explains that there are two rules to service-oriented selling.
Often, salespeople try to be impersonal and “professional.” However, this creates distance rather than connection between you and your buyer. Instead, Pink recommends making the transaction personal by showing your passion for the product—you’re sold on it and want others to benefit from it too. You come across as focused on service rather than profit, making your pitch more credible. Making our professional worlds personal improves performance and increases the quality of the service being provided. If you want to facilitate meaningful transactions, remember that people are human, and make what you’re selling personal to you.
For example, if you’re selling cell phones, but you’re not really passionate about it, you’ll see potential buyers as a means to an end (profit). In contrast, if you really love selling phones, you’ll see potential buyers as people you can help. This will automatically improve your service, communicating that you care about meeting the buyer’s needs and aren’t just acting in your own self-interest.
Why Service to the Customer Matters More Than Ever
The COVID-19 pandemic forced many people into social isolation, fear, and distrust. Under those circumstances, being of service through home delivery and digital contact became more than just a sales strategy, it became a customer lifeline. Here are five reasons service matters:
Service to the customer creates a sense of stability. In an uncertain world, reassurance and emotional support are increasingly important. Buyers are overwhelmed by constant unpredictability in their everyday lives, and if sellers can cultivate trust, this creates a feeling of security for buyers that can lead to long-term loyalty.
Service to the customer supports human connection. With the rise of technology, the ways people connect have changed, pushing direct connection to the side in favor of digital connection. As meaningful connection gets more scarce, it’s more valuable when it does occur. So when a buyer connects with a customer, the customer feels invested in that relationship.
Service to the customer provides high value. Social and political turmoil creates an equally tumultuous economic environment. Sellers who create buyer-centric experiences offer security and cultivate loyalty that stands the test of time.
Service to the customer reduces stress for clients. In times of societal struggle, stress is amplified. The importance of making clients’ lives easier rather than harder is paramount. The more effortless a seller can make a transaction for a buyer, the more the buyer will trust and value them.
Service to the customer creates meaningful experiences. In difficult times, people tend to cling to moments of goodness. Offering your buyers genuine empathy and consideration makes them more likely to associate you with feelings of relief and gratitude.
Pink advocates taking the new sales model a step further, by connecting what you’re selling to a broader purpose. Studies show the desire to serve is innate—you are most successful when you believe you are serving not just yourself or the buyer, but a larger purpose. He recommends thinking about how your service can improve society as a whole, and framing it that way to potential buyers.
For example, if you’re a teacher, remind yourself that you’re not only getting a paycheck, or improving the lives of the people you’re educating, but you’re also preparing those people to take what they learn and improve the world.
The Service-Based Sales Model
The service-based model is an increasingly popular approach to sales easily applied to any niche. According to life coach Linda Luke, the key aspects of service-based selling are as follows:
Start: Begin with attentive listening and asking well-thought-out questions.
Evaluate: Assess your client based on their needs.
Recommend: Recommend to your buyer solutions that meet their needs.
Value: Know the value of your service and be able to articulate that value to buyers.
Interest: Assess how interested they are in what you have to offer.
Commitment: Negotiate a transaction that meets both your needs.
Extend: Go above and beyond to be of service and maintain communication beyond the initial transaction.
Focus on these components to provide the most mutually beneficial transaction for all involved.
Finally, Pink offers these additional ideas for practicing service-oriented selling.
Upselling is a common traditional sales tactic that involves trying to convince a buyer to purchase more products or services. Pink explains that when you upsell, you’re generally serving your own best interest. Your mindset is, “What can others do for me?” In contrast, when you “upserve” (to use Pink’s term), you are helping buyers to meet needs they didn’t know they had. This is a mindset of, “What can I do for others?”
Sales commissions breed competition, and competition encourages a focus on profit rather than service. Pink argues that getting rid of commissions inspires collaboration, reduces conflict, and encourages sales reps to focus on serving clients.
Acting as though the buyer is doing you a favor, rather than the other way around, helps you connect and see things from the buyer's perspective. It reflects a service mentality and is more likely to lead to a sale than if you put your interests first. Tension arises when one party believes they are doing the other party a favor, but the other party doesn’t act like it. Often, the seller sees themselves as the one doing the favor, and it results in expectation (and disappointment).
If you approach the buyer as you would someone close to you, like your mother, you’re more likely to see their perspective and prioritize their interests.
Why Is Service-Oriented Selling So Effective?
Service-oriented selling works because it builds trust. Sales trust is a dynamic in which the buyer believes in you as an authority and believes you care about serving their best interests. This matters because:
Trust supports a long-term seller-buyer relationship. Studies show that 81% of buyers are more likely to buy again from sellers they trust.
Trust increases the benefit of the doubt. Buyer-seller interactions don’t always go smoothly. When a seller makes a mistake, buyers are three times more likely to forgive the mistake if the relationship is trusting. They are also more likely to share valuable criticism directly with the seller, which gives the seller an opportunity to solve the problem.
Trust helps you maintain and expand your customer base. Buyers who trust sellers, as stated above, are more loyal to them, and are also more likely to recommend the sellers to others.
Think about a situation in your life where you want to persuade, or “move” someone. It could be that you want to “move” your partner to take out the trash more often, or “move” your boss to give you extra time off during a busy period, or you want to move someone to buy a product.
If you succeed in moving this person as desired, will their life improve as a result? If so, how? If not, how will they be impacted?
Will this transaction leave the world a better place than it was before? If yes, how so? If not, why not?
If the answer was no for either question, what is a new way you can move this person that does improve his or her life and leave the world better as a result?