Tribes by Seth Godin is a self-help book about how to create and lead your own tribe—a group of people who are connected by a leader and an idea. Godin contends that, thanks to the ability to connect easily via the internet, there’s never been a better time to build a tribe (or step up to lead an existing one).
An entrepreneur, as well as a world-renowned author and marketing guru, Godin is perhaps best-known for his book Purple Cow, about how to succeed in business by standing out from the crowd, rather than relying on traditional mass marketing strategies.
Much like Purple Cow, Tribes is about coming up with an exceptional idea, then spreading it to the right people in order to make your vision a reality.
This guide has three parts:
In this guide, we’ll examine Godin’s theories about tribes—including where his ideas originated and any significant criticism of those ideas. We’ll also provide concrete, actionable advice for how to achieve what Godin suggests.
Godin defines a tribe as a group of people who share three important connections:
He adds that tribes exist everywhere people come together, whether in-person or online. For example, a fan club is a tribe; so are the employees of a small business. In fact, it’s all but guaranteed that you personally are in a tribe, and most likely more than one.
The Tuckman Model of Group Formation
Godin goes into detail about what a tribe is, but he doesn’t really explain how they come about.
Educational psychologist Bruce Tuckman developed a four-step model to describe how people come together and form a cohesive group, such as a tribe. While Tuckman’s model is specifically about goal-focused teams (such as in a work environment), it also applies to Godin’s concept of tribes, which must form around a particular belief and vision for the future.
Forming. This is when people first come together (or are brought together) to create the new group. At this stage, the members of the group have little cohesion and need firm guidance from a leader.
Storming. As the members become more comfortable within the group, there will naturally be conflicts among different personalities and ideas. At this stage, people are also frequently frustrated by what they see as a lack of progress toward the group’s objective. The leader must continue to provide guidance.
Norming. The intra-group conflicts are (mostly) resolved; the members respect one another and the group leader. The leader can begin to step back and let the group run itself. However, be aware that the group may briefly revert to Storming when new people or tasks are introduced.
Performing. At this point, the group is fully integrated and self-sufficient. Members understand one another’s strengths and weaknesses, as well as the goal that they’re working toward. At this point, the leader should let go of the group’s day-to-day business to focus on preventing and solving problems as they come up.
Tuckman later added a fifth step: Adjourning. This step is when the group’s job is done and it’s time to disband. However, this fifth step does not apply to tribes, whose “jobs” have no clear endpoint.
Godin says that, at heart, tribes are about belief: belief in an idea and belief in a community.
It doesn’t matter what the belief is—believing that a particular sports team is the best is just as valid to tribe dynamics as believing in a religion or a social cause. What matters is that all members of the tribe share that belief.
Members of a tribe also believe that they belong with each other; that they’re connected by their shared interests. Godin points out that people have gathered into tribes since the earliest days of human history—previously for survival, and more recently for a sense of belonging.
Not only have humans formed tribes for survival since our earliest days, so have many other species throughout history. In The Selfish Gene, scientist Richard Dawkins explains that many different types of animals band together and help one another.
When it’s an issue of survival, animals tend to support those whom they’re most closely related to. However—since modern humans don’t generally need to worry about survival—we now tend to support those who share our ideas, rather than our genes.
In other words: Many species, including ours, are genetically wired to seek out and form tribes with each other.
Tribes are partisan by nature: That is, they see themselves as an “in-group” and others as an “out-group.” Godin believes that partisanship is part of what motivates a tribe: The members feel special because they’re part of it, and others are not.
While the word partisan has negative connotations (especially in politics), it’s not inherently bad: Partisan groups have strong visions and specific goals that they’re eager to achieve. In other words, partisan groups are naturally motivated.
That motivation is what drives people of a tribe to come together, to share ideas, and to support each other in pursuit of their goal; even if that goal is only to celebrate a favorite sports team or TV show (for example).
If a tribe isn’t motivated, that’s because it’s not committed to a vision—in which case it’s not really a tribe at all.
Partisanship (in-group vs. out-group) is one of the oldest and most powerful motivators in human psychology: We have a natural drive to support the people in “our” group, and to work against those in “other” groups.
An article from Vox examines this natural drive in more detail and from a psychological perspective. It argues that there are two key factors in partisanship:
Pride in your group—this is what Godin urges you to harness to make your tribe successful.
Fear and hatred of outside groups—the effects of which can range from relatively harmless arguments about TV shows and athletes to high-impact political decisions.
While tribes form around—and are motivated by—shared beliefs, Godin cautions against allowing those beliefs to calcify into rigid rules. Strict rules stifle innovation and lead to stagnation.
In fact, as we’ll discuss later, real leadership and growth only happen when people aren’t constrained by rules and expectations.
Counterpoint: Rules vs. Freedom
This isn’t to say that rules are always harmful, or that they should be avoided at all times. Ideally, rules exist to ensure safety, comfort, and consistency.
In No Rules Rules, Reed Hastings and Erin Meyer discuss when rules-based approaches are helpful, and when they’re a hindrance.
In brief:
If your organization (or tribe) relies on safety and consistent performance, then you’ll find strict rules helpful. This is often the case with hazardous jobs like construction or factory work, or jobs where a mistake could be disastrous, like that of a nuclear engineer. Rules can also protect people’s mental and emotional well-being—for instance, most social media sites have strict rules against racism and hate speech.
If you want to promote innovation and growth, then Hastings and Meyer suggest using what they call the “freedom and responsibility” approach. This means that you allow your members the freedom to make their own decisions about what they do and how they behave; however, they must also accept responsibility for the outcomes of those decisions. Taking responsibility means taking credit for what works well, but also working to fix any harm they cause. If their behavior is particularly egregious, taking responsibility could even mean leaving the tribe, or being expelled from it.
Godin contends that we need leaders today more than ever. In large part, that’s because there are currently more tribes than have ever existed before, thanks to the internet (as previously mentioned), which makes it easy to connect with others.
However, the leader shortage has a societal aspect as well as a technological one.
Generally speaking, there are two kinds of people:
Godin says that acolytes, by definition, can’t be leaders; they don’t create new ideas or build new tribes. Only apostates—people who push their own ideas against societal pressure—can lead real change.
Godin clarifies that you can be an apostate on a small or large scale. For example:
In both cases, you’re leading the charge toward a new way of doing things—and you’ll need to recruit followers to turn your ideas into reality.
Leaders Embrace Opportunity and Risk
In The Leadership Challenge, Barry Posner and James Kouzes’s Third Principle is: Challenge the Status Quo.
They provide two guidelines to help you do so effectively:
Search for opportunities. Good leaders aren’t afraid of change; however, the first step is to identify what needs to change. Look for areas where your tribe is stuck in a mentality of “we’ve always done it that way,” and try to envision ways to improve upon the status quo.
Experiment and take risks. Along the way to any major change, you’re going to encounter a number of small successes and failures. As a leader, make sure to celebrate the successes with your tribe—those small victories will make the larger project feel achievable. However, make sure that you also learn from the failures—each new thing that you try will give you valuable feedback about what’s working and what isn’t.
While apostates are the ones who become leaders, Godin believes that our society is designed to churn out acolytes—people who try to fit in, instead of standing out.
Godin says there are two main ways that this happens:
In short, Godin argues that we’re trained from childhood to uphold and defend the status quo.
Upending the Status Quo
Godin seems to take it for granted that people tend to keep their heads down and try their best to fit in. He explains how society creates the status quo, but not why we’re so reluctant to fight it.
In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins explains why we’re often scared to go against the status quo: We associate some kind of pain with making a change, so we tend to keep things as they are (basically, we prefer the devil we know to the devil we don’t).
Therefore, according to Robbins, the trick to upending the status quo is to identify exactly what we’re afraid of—what pain we think we’ll experience if we make this change—and work to unlink that fear from the change we want to make.
Becoming a leader seems daunting; we’re often afraid to become apostates, or we think there’s some secret ingredient of leadership that we’re missing. However, Godin argues that all you need to become a leader is attitude and ability. In other words, if you believe in yourself and convince others to believe in you as well, then you’re a leader.
Godin points out that many of us hesitate because we think that we also need authority—in other words, we think that someone else has to give us the power or the “right” to lead. However, that misses the point: If you’re following someone else’s instructions, or waiting for permission, then you’re not leading.
Overcoming Low Self-Esteem
If you think you need someone else’s permission to become a leader, you may be suffering from low self-esteem. Norman Peale’s book The Power of Positive Thinking offers some advice on how to overcome self-defeating thoughts and boost your self-esteem:
Find the root cause. Why do you feel inferior to other people? Perhaps you struggled in school, or you were constantly overshadowed by a sibling.
Embrace “confidence concepts.” When you find negative or self-deprecating thoughts creeping in, replace them with thoughts about your own competence, confidence, and the certainty that you’ll succeed in whatever you’re doing.
Imagine the best, instead of the worst. People tend to inflate problems in their minds, and envision the worst possible outcomes. Instead, try to imagine the best possible outcome, and recognize that the problems you encounter won’t be as bad as you think.
Stop underestimating yourself. Take an honest inventory of your skills and talents. Assess your abilities—then raise your assessment by 10%.
Seek professional counseling. While Peale offers many tips on how to build confidence and overcome negative thoughts, he also acknowledges that there’s no substitute for working with a professional.
Note: The Power of Positive Thinking is heavily based on Christian faith and practices (Peale himself was a minister). However, many of the lessons within it are helpful no matter what your religion is—or if you don’t practice a religion at all.
Now that we’re in the age of the internet, anyone can create his or her own tribe practically instantly. The internet is such a powerful tool because there are only two prerequisites for a group of people to become a tribe:
The internet is the go-to method for communication these days, whether through social media or one of the many chat services like Discord and Slack. Furthermore, because the internet allows you to connect with millions of people in the blink of an eye, you can find others who share just about any interest you could imagine.
Unfortunately, not all tribes are positive ones. For example, in his 2017 article How America Lost Its Mind, Kurt Anderson points to the internet as a major contributor to a rising extremism and disconnect from reality in American politics.
In essence, Anderson is saying the same thing as Godin: The internet makes it possible to find like-minded people (a tribe) no matter what your thoughts and beliefs are. However, for Anderson, that ease of finding and creating tribes isn’t a good thing—it means that people with extreme and untrue beliefs can find others who will support those views, while shutting out more moderate voices that might help balance out the conversation.
Godin points out that there are already countless tribes in the world waiting for the right leaders to come along. Usually, these are tribes that are too stuck in their status quo to achieve their visions—for example, a company that fails to turn a profit, or a small group that fails to attract new members.
Instead of building a tribe from the ground up, a visionary leader can turn a stagnating group into an exciting new movement.
Case Study: Apple
In his business book Good Strategy/Bad Strategy, Richard P. Rumelt gives a clear example of the invigorating effect that a new leader can have on a group:
In the mid-to-late 1990s, Apple was struggling badly. Microsoft had practically cornered the computer market with Windows 95, and Apple’s CEO Gil Amelio was floundering with an incoherent business strategy—layoffs, pointless reorganizations, and new services that didn’t mesh with Apple’s current business model.
When Steve Jobs stepped in as the new CEO, Apple was on the verge of bankruptcy. However, Jobs implemented a bold new vision for the company, and eliminated anything that didn’t serve that vision. With Jobs’s vision and his leadership, Apple went from a soon-to-be-bankrupt company to a powerhouse in the computer industry—and it now has a tribe with members all over the world.
Godin says that people tend to think size matters most in a tribe—that a leader’s goal should be to recruit as many people as possible into the tribe. Such people believe that simply having more members will somehow make their tribe better. However, Godin argues that connection is more important than size; that it’s better to have a small group of true believers than a huge number of uninvested people in your tribe.
Recall that a tribe is a group of people with a shared vision and the drive to achieve it. When members are strongly connected to each other and to the leader, they’ll have that shared passion the tribe needs.
Furthermore, the best way to grow your tribe is to have members with strong connections to non-members; those members will do your recruiting for you. Thus, although it’s counterintuitive, the best way to expand your tribe is to not focus on expansion—instead, focus on improvement.
People Share Their Passions
In Purple Cow, Godin goes into more detail about how passionate members of a tribe can spread your ideas and recruit new followers.
Briefly: Most people aren’t looking for new things. They’re content with what they currently have, and aren’t willing to take a risk on some new idea or product. However, passionate members of a tribe (innovators and early adopters, to use Purple Cow’s terminology), will vouch for your idea. Those people will then convince their friends and family that your idea is worth adopting—that your tribe is worth joining.
This works because people are much more likely to listen to someone with whom they already have a personal connection, rather than a leader who’s just sending out blanket advertisements to reach as many people as possible.
Recall that one of the things a tribe needs is a means of communication. So far, we’ve mostly focused on being a leader and communicating with the members of your tribe. However, there are actually four different kinds of communication within a tribe, and all four are necessary:
Godin asserts that one of the surest ways to improve your tribe is to make sure that those four types of communication are convenient, comfortable, and effective.
Two-Way Communication
In The Effective Executive, author Peter Drucker suggests leaders ensure open, two-way communication between leadership and members by:
Taking responsibility for their own contributions and outcomes. In other words, openly stating what they believe they’re bringing to the group, and how they intend to use those abilities or resources.
Asking members to do the same. Each person should have the chance to say what he can contribute to the group and how leaders could make the best use of those contributions.
Drucker says that companies (which are one type of tribe) often hobble themselves by only focusing on the first type of communication: leader to members. However, he continues, when employees aren’t asked to contribute to the conversation, they’re not receptive to what the leadership says—nobody likes being talked at instead of talked with.
One point Godin repeatedly returns to is that, by definition, a leader is someone who goes off the beaten path (consider a common synonym for leader: trailblazer). Such people are often viewed as odd, crazy, or even heretical; however, a leader who only goes where she’s “allowed” to go isn’t a leader at all.
Therefore, in order to be an effective leader, you must be fearlessly committed to your vision.
Godin urges us to be fearless, but doesn’t provide much concrete advice for how to overcome our fears; in this case, our fears of other people’s opinions.
Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations suggests that you overcome fears about what other people think of you by recognizing two facts:
You can’t control what other people think.
Other people’s thoughts can’t hurt you.
In short, what people think of you is neither your responsibility nor your problem.
Aurelius also says that the best thing you can do is devote yourself completely to your duty—in this case, your duty to lead your tribe and fulfill your vision.
Godin says that many of us are waiting for the right time to lead; for example, when we have the right education, the right funding, or the right support. However, Godin argues that waiting never pays off. Instead, he urges you to just get started: Make that Facebook group, publish that blog, or start that workplace petition. With how easy it is to build and lead tribes in the modern world, the only thing stopping you is yourself.
You don’t need money or education to lead, and you certainly don’t need permission—all you need is a vision and the drive to pursue it.
Just Start Somewhere
In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson offers similar advice for when you’re struggling with accomplishing a difficult task or making a major change: just start somewhere. You don’t need to have every step planned out, and you don’t even need to have all the necessary skills and resources; just find something you can do that will get you a step closer to your goal, and then do it.
Manson says that there are several major benefits to approaching your problem in this way:
Reaching a small goal (even if that goal is “just do something”) will motivate you to keep working toward your larger objective.
You’ll get your mind working on the problem. Doing something—anything—is much better than staring at your problem and waiting for a fully formed solution to appear in your head. For example, say you’re trying to solve a difficult math question. If you just start to write down numbers and formulae, you may find that you actually do know the first step, and then the step after that, and so on. If not…
You’ll find out where you’re getting stuck. Continuing with the math example, you might realize that you don’t know the proper formula after all. However, now you know exactly what information you’re missing, so looking it up will be quite easy.
You can use this same approach when you’re trying to build a tribe: Just get started. You’ll undoubtedly run into problems along the way, but—as Manson says—you’ll either find solutions to those problems, or you’ll find out exactly what your weaknesses are so that you can fix them.
Every tribe begins with a leader’s vision, usually because that leader sees a problem and wants to solve it. Therefore, to create a tribe, you should first create a vision.
What’s something that bothers you? This could be a problem as serious and complex as global warming, or as trivial as not having people to discuss your favorite TV show with.
What would the world look like if you could solve that problem right this instant? That image of the world is your vision.
What’s something you could do today to start finding people who will share in your vision? (Tip: Your social media platform of choice could provide an excellent starting point for this.)